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GreenSmoothieGirl Goes Down in Flames in Smackdown! Part 2 of 3


Robyn Openshaw, MSW - May 02, 2011 - This Post May Contain Affiliate Links


I should count my blessings that Team Jillene didn’t make a federal case out of the habanero. When I was a kid, I once dared my dad to eat the biggest jalapeno in our garden in one bite. He did, and the hardest-working, toughest man I’ve ever known got so sick he went to bed for the rest of the Saturday. I’d come in every little while, begging his forgiveness–I cried a lot that day because I felt so bad. He’d just roll over and turn his back to me.

To her credit, afterwards, she came into the bathroom where I hung over the toilet, holding my hair back with one hand and dry-heaving. She said, meekly, “This is punishment enough. You don’t have to run Suncrest.”

Robyn sitting down

(Her punishment for me was to run 5 miles up to the highest point between Utah and Salt Lake valleys, and then back down.)

I only WISH!

Well, now you know how to make the naughtiest, nastiest, gnarliest green smoothie EVER.

Robyn drinking a green smoothie

Nothing could be more awful. I drank ¾ of it, opening up my throat and just throwing it back, stopping only twice, before Jillene beat me. In about 90 seconds. JUST LOOK AT THIS CRAZY PERSON! She had green stuff all over her face like one-year olds do who face-plant in their birthday cake!

Robyn downing a green smoothie

(And I was so nice, all I did is apples, parsley, and dandelion greens. All the Hot Dental Chicks came up and tasted both smoothies after with their finger. They came in the bathroom to offer condolences because the one I drank was just WRETCHED in comparison.)

I never did throw up, though I desperately wanted to. (Sometimes an iron stomach is a curse.) I kept reminding myself that raw vegetables and fruits take 45 minutes to digest, at most. Sure enough, the burning and nausea ended an hour later.

Well, congrats, Jillene! You are certifiably insane. But you are a competitor. YOU WIN!

Well, whatever it takes to get the message out! I guess I have to suffer for my art? (Plus it will make good TV.)

Tomorrow, cool stuff from Michelle Jorgenson’s lecture in the class we co-taught at The Good Earth Orem before the Smackdown.

I’ve officially been SMACKED.

Robyn smiling with a person

Posted in: Green Smoothies

9 thoughts on “GreenSmoothieGirl Goes Down in Flames in Smackdown! Part 2 of 3”

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  1. Iron stomachs can be a curse. I have thrown up ONCE in 39 years. Before age 5 I can’t remember, but I do remember being sick once as a little girl. Sometimes I have PRAYED to throw up. Way to hang in there though!

  2. Robyn, There is no such thing as too nice in my book! Some of my most very favorite people are “too nice” and that is what I love about them! Thanks for being so nice!…………..She is really wearing a gun belt! 😉

  3. Anonymous says:

    GOOD JOB, Robyn! Nice and classy always WINS over low and stinky!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Great job Robyn, i would have poured it on her head!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I put Habeneros in my smoothie one time…ONE time!!

  6. Anonymous says:

    Wow! You’re tough, Robyn! Nice beats sneaky in my book, too.

    As for me, I’ve got more of a “trampoline stomach.” If I’d been downing that brew, G.I. Jillene would have received a faceful of projectile-hurl all over, from bandana to gun belt. Hot spice, though,- no problem. Doubt that I would’ve bothered to swap out the habanero for rhubarb… 🙂

  7. Anonymous says:

    I’m sure this was all in fun and glad you took it that way, but I felt bad for you after reading this. Just my opinion, but she was mean to have you take the jalapeno…even the horseradish was harsh. Don’t think much of her , but you were ever the classy lady you usually are.

    1. Robyn Openshaw, MSW says:

      Oh, haha, I hope I didn’t create an impression here that Jillene isn’t a wonderful person…..she is, she’s just competitive! But, I am glad I didn’t just meekly accept that habanero in my smoothie!

  8. Anonymous says:

    I see she had to have her ‘security bear’ with her. She ain’t so tough.

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