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a very personal blog entry

Robyn Openshaw - Sep 24, 2008 - This Post May Contain Affiliate Links

I promised recently that I’d tell you why I was stressed and my friends were dropping by with healthy treats. Like coconut-milk “ice cream” and whole-wheat pumpkin cookies and applesauce brownies.

It’s hard to talk about.   I’ve had this written a while but am finally getting the courage to post it.    So here goes.   Gulp.

I’m in the process of becoming a single mom, after 20 years of marriage.   I’ve been married virtually my whole adult life!   Because we don’t speak ill of each other, no one saw it coming.   Not the people closest to us or even our kids.

Sad times!   I think it’s tempting in the biggest crises of our lives to let go of our health, quit exercising, and turn to processed food for comfort.   I won’t do it, though–I’ve been there before.   That’s a good way to let anxiety or depression or low energy get the best of you, right when you need your health the most.

In an effort to simplify, instead, I did let my oldest three kids choose to quit piano if they wanted. (If you saw us on Wife Swap, you have to know that was hard!)   I’m proud of them–some decided to continue, caring about their goals even during what promises to be the hardest year of their lives so far.   I think they’re going to be okay, or at least, I’ll do all I can to that end.

And their dad has bought a house just a five-minute walk from here.   He and I are friendly, care about each other,  and will always put the kids first.   I’ll be officially divorced probably next month, because we agree on all things financial and custody-related, and we’re both fully capable of supporting a household, so no lawyers or conflict are involved, and papers are filed.

That doesn’t mean there hasn’t been a lot of pain, or that there won’t be lasting scars.   I am so tremendously appreciative of the sweet emails and blog comments from so many of you.   You are a balm to the brokenhearted, and I love you.

As this site went live only a year ago, I’ve been reflecting on its short history. has always been, first and foremost, a labor of love to help people understand and love and nurture themselves and their bodies, and their families, better.   But I could never have anticipated the way “e-relationships” would enrich my life!

Even if I had to release my death grip on my “one of these kids will dang well be a concert pianist” dream, I’m not letting go of good nutrition.   One silver lining in this dark cloud of my family’s life is that I will be of more service, more relatable, now, to single moms.   There are a LOT of you out there.   A friend of mine said I’m entering a subculture you really know only when you enter it.  


And honestly, I think what I’m going through probably is like what many of you go through, because life includes tragedy along the way for almost all of us.   Right now is a very scary time in the economy and lots of people are suffering.   It’s likely to get worse before it gets better.   It’s a time when we might be tempted to ignore nutrition and our physical health.   But we can’t afford to, because when those things go south, so do many other important things, like our optimism, energy, and ability to reach goals.   Our health is one of the most important things we have, and all parts of it are related: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

I know some people think, “Well, Robyn has more time than I do to spend in the kitchen.”   (I don’t know how that was possible, even before now!)   But now I really have to “do it all.”   So I will learn some new things as I keep on  teaching people about the benefits of the whole, mostly-raw, plant-based diet  . . .  single.   Thanks for being in my corner.

Much love,




Posted in: Relationships

15 thoughts on “a very personal blog entry”

Leave a Comment
  1. Anonymous says:

    Our heart felt sympathies, Robyn. You have a wonderful attitude and are an inspiration to us all. Keep your chin up and cry on our shoulder (or should I say, computer screen) when ever you need to. Thank you for all you do to help us be healthy! You and your family will be in our prayers.


  2. I’m not sure if you respond to blog comments, but I want you to know that you are definitely not alone. While I don’t have kids, I was married young and long and now I’m single.

    It sounds like you are role-modeling a very healthy way to process through the pain. Good job. Of course, I know there’s still a lot of pain. But it really does turn out okay, and that’s the best part.

    Were you really on Wife Swap? If so, holler out the year/episode as it would be neat to see. (I don’t have a TV right now, but I’ll browse the internet!)


  3. Robyn,

    I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what a difficult time this is, especially in your community where, to my knowledge, divorce isn’t as common as it is in the rest of the country. You have blessed me, and I’ll be praying for you, for him, and for your kids.


  4. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry 🙁

  5. Robyn,

    I’ll be praying for you to stay strong like you’ve always been.

  6. Anonymous says:

    So sorry to hear of your trouble. Thank you so much for keeping this going in the midst of the storm you are going through. You are an incredible inspiration for me to try and do things better. Stumbling upon your site has been a God send for me and I have shared it with my friends.

    Keep your chin up. It sounds like you have an awesome attitude and it does get easier with time.

  7. http:// says:


    I have been in your shoes too after being with my husband since I was 14 (to age 40) I found myself with two high school kids and the necessity of three jobs!

    They turned out healthy and marvelous, and they thank me regularly for the structure I tried to maintain even when I thought I was always ‘settling’ in one area or another.

    Health is number one. If you stay healthy you can better impact and deal with all the rest of what life throws your way.

    I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Robyn, my heart is breaking for you. My prayers are with you & your family.

  9. Anonymous says:

    i’m so sorry that you & your family are going thru this hard time in your lives now. Y’all will be in my prayers. Robyn, you are such a strong woman, you will get thru this and get your kids thru this with flying colors. I do believe that there are no accidents or coincidences that all things happen for a reason. We may not know what the reason is right away, but it will come to you at some time. We are all behind you and if you need a shoulder to cry on we are all here for you. You have done amazing things for us and now it’s our turn to help you out. Please take comfort in knowing that we are all just a click away. With great admiration and love for you, Leslee

  10. Anonymous says:

    Robyn, my heart aches for you and your family. There’s no way to fast-forward the next little while. I hope that some of the positive energy and support you give to so many will boomerang and carry you in some way through challenges to come. I’m thinking of you.

    xo e.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Wow, Robyn. You’re such an inspiration! It’s so true that when you go through difficult times nutrition is the first to go. Thanks for being such a huge example! You have given me the stength to keep on making healthy choices – even when it’s hard. My prayers are with you and your family.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry for you. Wish you all the best.

  13. I can’t imagine, It’s not someplace I have been! But I have been praying for you and your family!

    Much Love, Tammie

  14. Anonymous says:

    Robyn, words can not express my thanks to you and all you have done through this site. I am what you refer to as a “lurker” and have never really commented much, but I have gleaned so much wisdom and encouragement from you. I wanted to tell you that my family will be praying for you and your family and I truly mean that. And thank you for your humility and transparency and willingness to share your life (and hurts) with us all. You truly are an amazing person and role model!

    Kristen McNabb

    Lexington, KY

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