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a very personal blog entry

Robyn Openshaw - Sep 24, 2008 - This Post May Contain Affiliate Links

I promised recently that I’d tell you why I was stressed and my friends were dropping by with healthy treats. Like coconut-milk “ice cream” and whole-wheat pumpkin cookies and applesauce brownies.

It’s hard to talk about.   I’ve had this written a while but am finally getting the courage to post it.    So here goes.   Gulp.

I’m in the process of becoming a single mom, after 20 years of marriage.   I’ve been married virtually my whole adult life!   Because we don’t speak ill of each other, no one saw it coming.   Not the people closest to us or even our kids.

Sad times!   I think it’s tempting in the biggest crises of our lives to let go of our health, quit exercising, and turn to processed food for comfort.   I won’t do it, though–I’ve been there before.   That’s a good way to let anxiety or depression or low energy get the best of you, right when you need your health the most.

In an effort to simplify, instead, I did let my oldest three kids choose to quit piano if they wanted. (If you saw us on Wife Swap, you have to know that was hard!)   I’m proud of them–some decided to continue, caring about their goals even during what promises to be the hardest year of their lives so far.   I think they’re going to be okay, or at least, I’ll do all I can to that end.

And their dad has bought a house just a five-minute walk from here.   He and I are friendly, care about each other,  and will always put the kids first.   I’ll be officially divorced probably next month, because we agree on all things financial and custody-related, and we’re both fully capable of supporting a household, so no lawyers or conflict are involved, and papers are filed.

That doesn’t mean there hasn’t been a lot of pain, or that there won’t be lasting scars.   I am so tremendously appreciative of the sweet emails and blog comments from so many of you.   You are a balm to the brokenhearted, and I love you.

As this site went live only a year ago, I’ve been reflecting on its short history. has always been, first and foremost, a labor of love to help people understand and love and nurture themselves and their bodies, and their families, better.   But I could never have anticipated the way “e-relationships” would enrich my life!

Even if I had to release my death grip on my “one of these kids will dang well be a concert pianist” dream, I’m not letting go of good nutrition.   One silver lining in this dark cloud of my family’s life is that I will be of more service, more relatable, now, to single moms.   There are a LOT of you out there.   A friend of mine said I’m entering a subculture you really know only when you enter it.  


And honestly, I think what I’m going through probably is like what many of you go through, because life includes tragedy along the way for almost all of us.   Right now is a very scary time in the economy and lots of people are suffering.   It’s likely to get worse before it gets better.   It’s a time when we might be tempted to ignore nutrition and our physical health.   But we can’t afford to, because when those things go south, so do many other important things, like our optimism, energy, and ability to reach goals.   Our health is one of the most important things we have, and all parts of it are related: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

I know some people think, “Well, Robyn has more time than I do to spend in the kitchen.”   (I don’t know how that was possible, even before now!)   But now I really have to “do it all.”   So I will learn some new things as I keep on  teaching people about the benefits of the whole, mostly-raw, plant-based diet  . . .  single.   Thanks for being in my corner.

Much love,




Posted in: Relationships

27 thoughts on “a very personal blog entry”

Leave a Comment
  1. Anonymous says:

    Our heart felt sympathies, Robyn. You have a wonderful attitude and are an inspiration to us all. Keep your chin up and cry on our shoulder (or should I say, computer screen) when ever you need to. Thank you for all you do to help us be healthy! You and your family will be in our prayers.


  2. I’m not sure if you respond to blog comments, but I want you to know that you are definitely not alone. While I don’t have kids, I was married young and long and now I’m single.

    It sounds like you are role-modeling a very healthy way to process through the pain. Good job. Of course, I know there’s still a lot of pain. But it really does turn out okay, and that’s the best part.

    Were you really on Wife Swap? If so, holler out the year/episode as it would be neat to see. (I don’t have a TV right now, but I’ll browse the internet!)


  3. Robyn,

    I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what a difficult time this is, especially in your community where, to my knowledge, divorce isn’t as common as it is in the rest of the country. You have blessed me, and I’ll be praying for you, for him, and for your kids.


  4. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry 🙁

  5. Robyn,

    I’ll be praying for you to stay strong like you’ve always been.

  6. Anonymous says:

    So sorry to hear of your trouble. Thank you so much for keeping this going in the midst of the storm you are going through. You are an incredible inspiration for me to try and do things better. Stumbling upon your site has been a God send for me and I have shared it with my friends.

    Keep your chin up. It sounds like you have an awesome attitude and it does get easier with time.

  7. http:// says:


    I have been in your shoes too after being with my husband since I was 14 (to age 40) I found myself with two high school kids and the necessity of three jobs!

    They turned out healthy and marvelous, and they thank me regularly for the structure I tried to maintain even when I thought I was always ‘settling’ in one area or another.

    Health is number one. If you stay healthy you can better impact and deal with all the rest of what life throws your way.

    I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Robyn, my heart is breaking for you. My prayers are with you & your family.

  9. Anonymous says:

    i’m so sorry that you & your family are going thru this hard time in your lives now. Y’all will be in my prayers. Robyn, you are such a strong woman, you will get thru this and get your kids thru this with flying colors. I do believe that there are no accidents or coincidences that all things happen for a reason. We may not know what the reason is right away, but it will come to you at some time. We are all behind you and if you need a shoulder to cry on we are all here for you. You have done amazing things for us and now it’s our turn to help you out. Please take comfort in knowing that we are all just a click away. With great admiration and love for you, Leslee

  10. Anonymous says:

    Robyn, my heart aches for you and your family. There’s no way to fast-forward the next little while. I hope that some of the positive energy and support you give to so many will boomerang and carry you in some way through challenges to come. I’m thinking of you.

    xo e.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Wow, Robyn. You’re such an inspiration! It’s so true that when you go through difficult times nutrition is the first to go. Thanks for being such a huge example! You have given me the stength to keep on making healthy choices – even when it’s hard. My prayers are with you and your family.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry for you. Wish you all the best.

  13. I can’t imagine, It’s not someplace I have been! But I have been praying for you and your family!

    Much Love, Tammie

  14. Anonymous says:

    Robyn, words can not express my thanks to you and all you have done through this site. I am what you refer to as a “lurker” and have never really commented much, but I have gleaned so much wisdom and encouragement from you. I wanted to tell you that my family will be praying for you and your family and I truly mean that. And thank you for your humility and transparency and willingness to share your life (and hurts) with us all. You truly are an amazing person and role model!

    Kristen McNabb

    Lexington, KY

  15. Anonymous says:

    Robyn: Even in the midst of turmoil you are so gracious. I admire your strength and attitude and your very mature approach to this life-changing situation. You are such a caring and sharing person and we thank you for being so honest and open with us. I will pray for you and your family.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Wow, former single mother here… nothing much to say, but God Bless

  17. Anonymous says:

    (((((((HUGS ROBYN))))))) My heart goes out to all of you. I love that you and he are able to make it work without rancor despite the hurt and sorrow. I sense you are a strong woman and will pull through this with new doors opening up to you and your kids letting in amazing things.

  18. Hugs to you… I can only believe that your positive attitude and healthy nutrition will continue to help you stay strong as you adjust to all these changes in your life.

    Best to you,


  19. Anonymous says:

    {{{ MANY HUGS }}}

    Thanks so much for sharing that. When you mentioned in a previous post that you were going through a difficult time, this is the first thing that I thought of. You’re such a strong, healthy woman that I thought even the death of a parent or a serious illness of a loved one, wouldn’t quite throw you for a loop like this. But this is the most difficult experience you’ve probably ever been through and I’m sure the emotional rollercoaster is incredible.

    I will keep you and your family in my prayers. May God hold you close and bring you peace. May he also bless you with the ability to act with compassion and kindness in this situation which can be so very hard.

    Having several friends who’ve been through this, I can only stress the importance of assuring the children that your split has nothing to do with them (that they were not the cause of it), and that you both will love them as much as you do now, just living in separate homes. What a wonderful solution with your husband being so close. And it’s great that you won’t speak ill of each other. You can not go overboard with your love for your children during this time. Love them to bits! Snuggle, hug, cuddle, and cradle them like crazy. They will need it…almost as much as you will. Do something spontaneous with them like a crazy weekend away in which all daily routines are thrown overboard for two days. Show them that they are more important than anything else.

    A great book that a girlfriend of mine swore by, is Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Maybe the library can get it for you.

    In my opinion, you are being a great mom by getting divorced. You are teaching your children to change a situation if it is not working for them (they won’t get that part right away, but later on they will.) You also would not want them to be in a stagnant relationship where they are not happy. Children imitate and learn from how they live. This will teach them to want more for themselves and their relationships. And I am sure you will find someone in the future to have that wonderful relationship with. The kids will see this and know and learn that this is what they should strive for.

    So the European vacation must have been a sort of last family vacation for all. What a sweet thought from you and your husband.

    These cyber relationships are crazy sometimes. You feel like you know someone by reading their thoughts on various subjects and seeing a video of them. Reading this post yesterday I was stunned and even dreamed about you last night. Kinda strage half-way around the world. But you’ve impacted our life and so somehow you’re a part of all. Thanks for all you do Robyn and may God give you strength the next few months.

  20. Anonymous says:


    I’ve been busy for awhile and haven’t stopped in. This is my first visit back, and I am so sorry for you and your family. It will be a tough year for the kids, as you said. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Blessings to you and your family.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Lots of hugs. My heartfelt prayers go for you and your family.

  22. Robyn,

    Hearing the pain you are going through breaks my heart. Its just never easy for anyone involved, when relationships dissolve. Praying for God’s grace and peace to carry you and your young ones. Thank you for sharing.

  23. Robyn,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your divorce, and yet so inspired by your grace in handling it. I was divorced from my eldest daughter’s dad after 13 years of marriage (being married at 18). The transitions were really difficult and I wasn’t always graceful. And sadly, I did let my health go at that time and later paid for it. However it was a time of great life lessons as is the path it led me to.

    Even when it is the right thing and things are going as well as can be expected, it is still hard. Many, many {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you.

    Love and belief,


  24. Kristi Hays says:

    You are a great example. I am new to your blog. My 1 year old son was recently diagnosed with asthma. He is allergic to the following: corn syrup, elderberry, almonds, grains (except oats and rice), milk, and goats milk formula. I had to stop breastfeeding and put him on rice milk and organic soy baby formula. I heard and researched a lot about the NAET program eliminating allergies that affect asthma. What do you think about it? Green smoothies are awesom, what would you recommend for my son?

    Thank you,
    Kristi Hays

  25. Marti says:

    Marti Wynne from Hawkinsville GA

  26. Laurie Shaw says:

    Robyn, I have had skin cancer on my face when I was in my thirties )I’m 63 now). The dermatologist explained that unless I got the damaged skin off I would continue to have more cancerous and precancerous lesions – that its never just one and your done. I started regular micro dermabrasion face peels (insurance covered them bc of skin cancer). I was also shown how to use a prescription Tazorac mixed with a the Blender from Obagi. I used Shiseido makeup sunblock stick on any suspicious spots. I tried to remove the damaged skin as quickly as I could.

    I would recommend treating sun damaged skin with a chemical peel or a fluorhydroxyacid peel. Chemical peels use acid to burn the top layer of skin, which causes damaged skin to peel away. New, healthy skin can then grow in its place. A fluorhydroxyacid peel combines the benefits of a chemical peel with a treatment of 5-fluorouracil. DERMAdoctor states that this type of peel may need to be repeated as many as 12 times.

    I would also try laser treatments which can remove sun-damaged cells and stimulate collagen production to improve the appearance of mottled or rough, leathery skin. Some lasers can treat precancerous lesions, reducing your risk of developing skin cancer. Your dermatologist can advise you on which, if any, laser treatment might be best for you.

    Recently I researched glycanoids and found a product sold on vita stream called CURADERM. This will take precancerous and cancerous lesions away with little scarring. They also sell a sunscreen with the glycanoid product in it so that it is healing the skin and protecting it simultaneously. I have had no other problems since.

    Curaderm BEC5 Cream
    -Sun Spots
    -Basal Cell Carcinomas (BCC)
    -Squamous Cell Carcinomas (SCC)
    -Produced from eggplant extract
    -25 years of preclinical and clinical work
    -Natural formula containing eggplant derived glycoalkaloids

    Learn More About the benefits of Curaderm Bec5 Video With Dr. Bill Cham »

    Order Curaderm BEC5 and receive a booklet of 85 pages with the title: “Curaderm” by Dr. Cham. This booklet details the treatment procedures and addresses the most frequently asked questions. FREE booklets will be included with every “single” Curaderm BEC5 tubes sold.

    Properties: BEC5 Curaderm has beneficial therapeutic effects on keratosis, basal cell carcinomas (BCCs) and squamous cell carcinomas (SCCs). When the cream is applied to such lesions on the skin, the action of BEC5 Curaderm produces the following pattern of response: first reddening, then, usually, erosion, ulceration, dying of treated targeted cells, and regrowth of normal cells.

    Ingredients: Curaderm BEC5 cream (20g) contains the active anticancer ingredient Solasodine Glycosides (BEC) . It also contains Salicylic Acid and Urea at relatively high concentrations that assist BEC to kill cancer cells. Salicylic Acid and Urea may irritate the skin in some individuals. Solasodine glycosides (BEC), 0.005%; Salicylic acid, 10%; Urea 5%

    On February 21, 2012, The Dr. Oz Show featured Dr. Joseph Mercola, a well-known physician and advocate of alternative health medicine. Dr. Oz*** interviewed Dr. Mercola, who hailed Curaderm BEC5 as being highly effective for non-melanoma skin lesions. According to Dr. Mercola, more than 100,000 people have been effectively treated with Curaderm BEC5 throughout the world.
    Robyn, It has been 20+ years since I had skin cancer and had the MOS procedure done on each side of my nose. Because the graft bubbled out, a dermatologist lasered it even with my skin but there was no pigment. I now have beautiful skin and am complimented on it.

    There is no reason to keep having cancerous and precancerous spots if these procedures are followed. I also have never had a sunburn in over 25 years. If I thought I might have got too much sun on any part of my face I would immediately use the gel straight from an aloe vera plant.
    If people are going to keep getting too much sun on their face then they cannot be really serious about the problem but they will be when disfigurement ensues. I wear a sun-visor for all outside activities.

    Robyn I hope this gets to you. Good luck. I first ‘met’ you on the Essential Oils conference.

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