a very personal blog entry

I promised recently that I’d tell you why I was stressed and my friends were dropping by with healthy treats. Like coconut-milk “ice cream” and whole-wheat pumpkin cookies and applesauce brownies.

It’s hard to talk about.   I’ve had this written a while but am finally getting the courage to post it.    So here goes.   Gulp.

I’m in the process of becoming a single mom, after 20 years of marriage.   I’ve been married virtually my whole adult life!   Because we don’t speak ill of each other, no one saw it coming.   Not the people closest to us or even our kids.

Sad times!   I think it’s tempting in the biggest crises of our lives to let go of our health, quit exercising, and turn to processed food for comfort.   I won’t do it, though–I’ve been there before.   That’s a good way to let anxiety or depression or low energy get the best of you, right when you need your health the most.

In an effort to simplify, instead, I did let my oldest three kids choose to quit piano if they wanted. (If you saw us on Wife Swap, you have to know that was hard!)   I’m proud of them–some decided to continue, caring about their goals even during what promises to be the hardest year of their lives so far.   I think they’re going to be okay, or at least, I’ll do all I can to that end.

And their dad has bought a house just a five-minute walk from here.   He and I are friendly, care about each other,  and will always put the kids first.   I’ll be officially divorced probably next month, because we agree on all things financial and custody-related, and we’re both fully capable of supporting a household, so no lawyers or conflict are involved, and papers are filed.

That doesn’t mean there hasn’t been a lot of pain, or that there won’t be lasting scars.   I am so tremendously appreciative of the sweet emails and blog comments from so many of you.   You are a balm to the brokenhearted, and I love you.

As this site went live only a year ago, I’ve been reflecting on its short history.   GreenSmoothieGirl.com has always been, first and foremost, a labor of love to help people understand and love and nurture themselves and their bodies, and their families, better.   But I could never have anticipated the way “e-relationships” would enrich my life!

Even if I had to release my death grip on my “one of these kids will dang well be a concert pianist” dream, I’m not letting go of good nutrition.   One silver lining in this dark cloud of my family’s life is that I will be of more service, more relatable, now, to single moms.   There are a LOT of you out there.   A friend of mine said I’m entering a subculture you really know only when you enter it.  

And honestly, I think what I’m going through probably is like what many of you go through, because life includes tragedy along the way for almost all of us.   Right now is a very scary time in the economy and lots of people are suffering.   It’s likely to get worse before it gets better.   It’s a time when we might be tempted to ignore nutrition and our physical health.   But we can’t afford to, because when those things go south, so do many other important things, like our optimism, energy, and ability to reach goals.   Our health is one of the most important things we have, and all parts of it are related: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

I know some people think, “Well, Robyn has more time than I do to spend in the kitchen.”   (I don’t know how that was possible, even before now!)   But now I really have to “do it all.”   So I will learn some new things as I keep on  teaching people about the benefits of the whole, mostly-raw, plant-based diet  . . .  single.   Thanks for being in my corner.

Much love,

Robyn

Posted in: Relationships