A sad update on the sugar bet….part 2 of 2
Next morning after I screwed up the sugar bet, I went for a run. I thought about telling Matthew. I knew I had to. I would rather have a peaceful conscience than $10,000. That much was clear. I thought about telling you, my readers, who think I’m better than that.
I ran along the beach in Maui for an hour, and instead of enjoying the crashing waves, I cried. I cried about the $10,000 that is not easy to earn. But more, I cried about failure and my miserable sugar addiction that I have hated my whole life.
I live a disciplined life. It infuriates me that sometimes I eat something I know to be toxic, simply because I am weak. My fury over this, and watching moms feed their babies Coke in baby bottles, fueled my children’s book, The Adventures of Junk Food Dude. Of anyone, I know better. I should BE better.
When we flew to Honolulu, my friend Ben flew in, to spend the last few days with me on Waikiki Beach. He got a Coke and a couple bags of M&M’s twice a day. Dejected, I ate M&M’s with him a few times. My anxiety returned, and I realized I had not experienced it in six months. I wake up with that edgy feeling only when I’m eating sugar—even a little bit of sugar a couple times a week causes me to feel anxious. I spend the whole day trying to outrun that vague anxiety.
Thus ensued a week of eating sugar once almost every day. Partly out of my sheer depression over what I did—what did it matter anymore?
I gained three pounds. I still have most of that with me. It’s an unfriendly reminder.
Let’s just say when I got home and asked Matthew to come over to talk, I was practically on my knees. So mad at myself for wrecking a great thing. I LOVED BEING OFF SUGAR. It was hard, but struggling to choose whether to eat this or that, every single day, my whole life? That was HARDER.
I had in my mind that when I saw Matthew, I’d probably cry. But when I told him, he busted out laughing hysterically. Which made me laugh too. Not that I actually find it funny, because I don’t.
I handed him $1,000 in cash. Either an installment, if he chose that, or a penalty, I said.
And I asked him for a second chance. I said, “Let me back in the Sugar Bet. I’ll add a week onto the endpoint. You can opt out, or do whatever you want. But I want to finish. Not just for the money, but for the chance to succeed. I want to say I ate no sugar for a year. But you won, fair and square—and if you choose to take the money, I’ll give it to you, no problem.”
He tortured me for several more days, thinking about it. Then we had lunch to talk about what to do. He tried to give me my $1,000 back and I said no. It has to hurt.
As it is, I’m thankful for mercy. Matthew let me back in and I’ve been back on the wagon for a week or so. He, however, can do whatever he wants to. He’s thinking about whether he wants to finish out another six months with me, in a modified way. Maybe get twice-a-month free passes. And he doesn’t want to read labels on chips. He feels the Sugar Bet was HARD.
That night, Matthew went out at 2:30 a.m. and ate four King-sized Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and a Nutrageous bar. (WHOA. I think that would put me in a coma.) The next night he came over for a sauna session with me. He’d asked me to go to Zumba right before that, but I was busy.
I opened the door. I said, shocked: “What the heck is the matter with you?!” I might have said something slightly different than “heck.” Matthew’s eyes were glazed over.
He said, “I couldn’t even lift my arms in Zumba!” Keep in mind this guy is a fireball of non-stop energy until 3 a.m. every day of his life. He’s like a four-year old, kid you not. Keep in mind that he loves NOTHING in this world more than Zumba. Lives for it, really. And keep in mind that the king-size candy bar fiasco was more than 12 hours before!
Matthew learned a hard lesson, too. Not as expensive as mine.
If I screw up a second time, I’m done for. $9,000 more, no questions asked. As I write this, I’m leaving for Mexico with my kids for spring break. One of those all-inclusive resorts all along the Cancun beach, where you can have as much food as you want, all day long? My kids think it’s heaven.
BUT NO SUGAR, BABY. Matthew texted last night and said, “I think you should get a week off, for Mexico.” I said no–I need to do this. To prove it to myself.
Thank you, God, for mercy tempering justice. Thank you Matthew.
Wish me luck.
Posted in: Lifestyle, Whole Food
I agree with Sara. You owe him the rest. I would never make a bet like that, because I can’t afford it. But if you can get out of a bet like that, it’s not a real bet, so don’t even make it.
Robyn, thank you for sharing your story with us. Your very healthy lifestyle seems so out of reach sometimes. It’s nice to see that even you have slips! I know you will make it a year without sugar this time!
I don’t see myself putting such a hard goal to reach. When I was your age I learned goals are stars to stear by not to beat ourselves up with and I handled my life raising children alot easier when I realized that.
Perspective.
That was quite a brave goal you two.
A year is a long time, maybe that’s something you’ve learned also!
Wishing you strength as you chose to continue.
Thanks for being honest. We are humans.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself.
I would never expect you as green smoothie girl to be more than human.
2nd commandment…love thy neighbor as thy self.
Mgm, I understand what you are saying. I also understand that Robyn’s ‘vulnerability’ has been meaningful to others. I agree that it takes guts to post a story of failure for the world to read, especially when it relates directly to something you advocate for and make a living from.
This story does not sit with me well at all, however, because she knew that she could play the sorrowful friend card, and that Matthew would give in. It would have been rude of him not to. Putting him in that place is not respectable. Confessing is. Offering a payment plan of $1,000 per whenever is. It should have been up to him to change the conditions of the arrangement. His suggestion, his follow-through. Robyn took advantage of his friendship and that, to me, is not honest.
Brenda K. , Thank you for your inspired and wise words about goals. You have blessed and helped me and my family forever. Thank you!
I guess what I really want to say here is Robyn we love you just the way you are,
with or without sugar challenge, so no pressure from me and maybe us?
Life is hard enough without putting too hard of expectations on ourselves.
My husband and I went and had a Farr’s ice cream cone , one scoop, our first ice cream
in 3 months. We have lost 20 and 24 lbs in that time. Our bodies are forgiving and we need
a little break once in awhile to continue on.
We embraced the icecream moment and probably won’t have another until we really want to.
We have a little tiny bag of marshmellow eggs for Easter ready with a healthy easter basket
filled with new kinds of healthy noodles from an asian store.
Happy Easter everyone!
P.S. funny about Matt’s sugar coma, thanks for sharing!
Just can’t bring myself to see Robyn as manipulative and shifty, and Matt as a naive babe in the woods, easily manipulated. I don’t know Matt, but if he is a close friend of Robyn’s, I’m going to guess he has a stronger core than that – I doubt she surrounds herself with emotional weaklings or nitwits. I see no villain and no victim here. Just friends having a public adventure with a playful, gracious and humanity laced spirit. I do find it interesting that the comment thread has become quite large. Usually, it’s just a few per post, and sometimes none, but add in money, and things get interesting.
Sara, you have a point. I have had some guilty feelings about that myself. That Matthew may have felt compelled by our friendship to show compassion. I am reflecting on your words….whether I should just finish the year and give him $9K anyway. It might happen. If it does, it will not be something I announce here. He had said in the past that if I lost, he would spend the money taking me and our other friends on a cruise.
That said, I think Matthew gets to grow from mercy extended (keep in mind that both of us are financially successful and the $10k is not a game changer for either of us). And I certainly get to grow from being the recipient of it, and getting a second chance, and the crow I have had to eat in front of my Fri night and Sat morning audiences of 250 and 300, yesterday and today—people who watch what I do. (Not to mention my internet friends.)
I truly am thankful for second chances. In this case, and in my life in general. Hardline, dogmatic, no-mercy positions feel harmful to me. (Thus the following on this site, I assume, bigger in traffic than any other alternative health / nutrition site except the two titans Mercola and NaturalNews. The difference, I think, is that I’m fierce about nurturing you, me, and all the people we love to a better place. Is it not? I cannot offer the world anything very proprietary or even new. I can be me, and what is the essence of me is trying to find a balanced place in the counterculture, if that isn’t too oxymoronic for you.)
I know this: I would have done the same for Matthew. In a heartbeat.
Thanks for sharing this story. Sugar is such a difficult thing to kick! I have gotten rid of it around my house, but still crave some sweet things. I want to try your recipe for the cocoa almonds in your 12-steps book, but have a quick question (I hope that’s okay to post here). In the ingredients it calls for the almonds to be soaked and dehydrated and then the first instruction is to soak the almonds and then let them air dry for a couple of hours. Is this right? Do I need to do it twice? I still have some almonds (raw from your group buy, thanks for that!!) that I’ve kept refrigerated and haven’t gotten around to soaking yet, can I just use those and continue with the recipe? Thanks for your help!!
Britni, yes you can do that. The reason to dry them a little, the first time, is that they absorb the cocoa sauce better. But you can do them air dried, sure—or even wet. 🙂 Yes, just use your group buy almonds!
I say next time you make a bet choose your favorite charity to donate to – that alone could be huge motivator to ante up and still continue your journey : )
word.
Robyn,
Thanks for sharing this struggle with us. Your openness is so refreshing! Those who are disturbed by how you worked this out with your friend probably don’t have a lot of very close friends and have NO idea that your friend would probably NEVER take the money from you. You sneaked that cool $1000 in on him, didn’t you? Heheh… sneaky you!
The whole point to me is this – you didn’t pass the challenge off as a joke like you could have – you could have lied – and you didn’t…
A true winner is brave enough to risk failing – and when they do fail, they get up, brush themselves off and finish the race!
I bought 12 Steps to Whole Foods…didn’t take detox seriously and started with a quart of green smoothie a day last Friday – OMGOSH! The headache was incredible – body shakes and all – slept almost all day on Easter and missed church (which I was sad to miss because I love it) but by the afternoon and a BE (bathroom experience) – the headache went away and my head feels very clear – I could see clearer..no other way to explain that. Energy levels are WAAYY up! This is so awesome!
Thank you, Robyn.
Hello Robyn, I am not sure if you have covered this subject matter or not and I don’t feel like I need to have my email published either…I just want to know your opinion.
What do you know about ion foot baths? I have read some things on the internet, and of course there are always conflicting stories for anything relating to naturopathic theropies. I had one and was absolutely shocked with the black dirty water with floaties after an hour of soaking. But really…can your body eliminate toxins through your feet and with this kind of therapy? BTW…I am a huge green smoothie fan and am trying to kick the sugar habit too. It is dang hard…but green smoothies make it easier. Thanks. CT
You owe him $9,000. You should have never suggested to him otherwise.
Robyn you are amazing! But I wanted to share something with you that has helped me soooo much in eliminating the wrong things from my diet- the minute you say “I can’t have this or that”, your body and mind tell you ” yes you can!” But, if you say to yourself- I can have it, but I choose not too- it works miracles! So with the sugar thing- you could say ” I can have sugar- but I choose not to!
This has really worked for me!
Love & Success- Debraw
I have been told that teachers are often the most tortured with what they teach which is what makes them great teachers. I’ve been a fan for several years and your green smoothie guidance is a serious gift! Knowing you also struggle sometimes only makes me appreciate you more. My hope for you and me and anyone else hoping for perfection is to only love ourselves more for the mistakes. Falling down and screwing up always teaches me something as soon as I let go of beating myself up about it. Thanks again for leading the way.