The Day Everything Became Crystal Clear

beautiful fall day in the Wasatch Mountains, Utah

Recently, I had a very…bad…week. I thought I’d share a very personal story with you, in the hope that it helps you enjoy Thanksgiving with more gratitude.

(Gratitude is the highest vibration emotion ever recorded by ECG and EEG!)

Robyn and her cat, CharlieMy 17-year old son texted me, while I was in San Diego at a conference, that something was wrong with our much-loved cat, Charlemagne.

Charlie wasn’t yet 2 years old, and he was fine when I left. He’s never been sick. When I got home the next day, I found that his back legs were paralyzed.

The next day I took him to the vet, and she said she would run some tests, that it looked like heart disease and blood clots.

Thirty minutes later, the vet called me to tell me Charlie had suddenly just taken one deep breath and…died.

The next day, I went to court against my children’s father.

While we’d never been to court before, we’ve been to many legal mediations over 9 years, and I’ve incurred many thousands of dollars in legal bills.

To save money, I had released my attorney, and represented myself in court.

And the judge awarded me everything. Including my attorneys’ fees, since my ex-spouse’s violation of court orders caused the legal fees in the first place.

But then, the judge, scrolling through the online court system, told me he couldn’t find the bill from my attorney, filed as an affidavit with the court.

Turns out, she forgot. So, my children’s father got to walk away from that large bill, and I was left holding the bag. All due to a technicality.

I wish those were the worst things, in my very bad week.

The next day, we found out that my new book, Vibe, had pre-sold well over 15,000 copies, prior to the week it published. The book project itself represented 18 months of hard work: landing the deal with Simon & Schuster, writing, and editing several times, and marketing it for months leading up to the excitement of publication date.

And that day, I learned that even though I outsold 9 of the 10 authors who made the New York Times bestseller list that week–even Oprah–my book somehow didn’t make the New York Times list.

If I’m telling the truth, I may have thrown a little pity party. I felt like I shouldn’t have so many sad things happen to me, rapid-fire. I went to bed early.

The next morning, after the bad news of the NYT list ignoring my book, I was at tennis practice, and my teammate, Susan, said,

“Hey, congrats on your book. I was at a care facility last week, and I met a lady who is a big fan of yours. She was showing me your book and was all excited about it.”

I asked Susan where the care facility was, and what the lady’s name is. It turned out she was just two miles from my home. The next day, I stopped by, hoping to sign the lady’s book, and chat with her.

Merry, it turned out, is 63 years old, though her skin looks 35, as if she’s never been out in the sun–and she has a long, blonde braid.

She was in a twin bed with two other ladies sharing the room. She sits in an old, broken wheelchair, because she has no income, no pension, no husband, siblings, parents, or children—and the broken wheelchair she sat in was recently gifted to her.

Her eyes got wide, as I walked into the room, and she whispered:

“Is it you??”

It turns out, she didn’t have my new book, Vibe, at all, as I’d assumed. She wouldn’t likely know about it, since she has no access to social media, and has never sent or received a text in her life, doesn’t own a smart phone.

Her entire life is lived in a corner of a shared room, in a rundown care facility.

She picked up the 2007 first-edition, self-published version of my 12 Steps to Whole Foods course, next to her bed, and handed it to me.

She pointed at my photo, in the Intro, and said, “That’s you!”

“Yes it is,” I told her, “a long time ago!” She told me about the public lecture I had given, many years before. Her neighbor had offered to drive her to it.

Half the pages were torn out of the 12 Steps course manual.

She picked up a large, 3-ring binder, to show me where the rest of the pages were. She had been tearing out the pages, one at a time, cutting off the ragged edges with scissors, and putting each page in plastic sleeves, in the binder.

The 12 Steps to Whole Foods manual was extensively marked up with highlighting, careful notes in the margin in ballpoint pen, recipes circled that she wanted to try.

The 10-year old manual looked like it had been well loved, well used, dog-eared.

Only it wasn’t. Because Merry cannot cook. Merry can’t walk anymore, 26 years after her diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis when she was just 37 years old.

She told me about her life. How she tries to get to the exercise room every day, to stand (or sit, when her legs won’t hold her) holding onto the rails of the vibration plate.

She told me that doing so wears her out, and after one of these “exercise” sessions, she sometimes sleeps for 36 hours.

She told me how she would love to eat a healthy diet, as she’d read in my 12 Steps to Whole Foods manual—but she would somehow have to get the ingredients to make a green smoothie. And a blender.

Reading that manual, and looking at the photos, for her, is like reading a travel book for someone who dreams, someday, of seeing the world beyond her back yard.

Merry told me that the only vegetables served at the budget-conscious care facility are severely overcooked–alongside ham, pie with cool whip, and the usual cafeteria fare, to cater to the mostly elderly population in the care facility.

I asked her how I could help her. I left with a resolve to use my own resources to get Merry a large, daily green smoothie.

She told me, with determination in her voice, several times: “In just a few weeks, I plan to be leaving here.”

But, Merry came in, walking, 10 months ago—when she fell, and her landlady broke her own rib, picking Merry up off the floor–causing Merry to realize that now, finally, she needed a higher level of care.

But 10 months after walking through the front door, Merry’s health has declined to the point where she can no longer walk at all.

“I’m going to get out of here, though,” she told me, several times, resolve in her eyes.

Autumn, sunshine, fallen leavesWhen I left that day, I walked out into the parking lot of the care center. It is mid-November here in Utah, but we’ve had an amazing indian summer, and the sun was shining.

I could smell the decaying leaves all around me, a smell I’ve always loved. I stopped, by my car, struck with this thought:

I am walking across this parking lot. I just walked out of that facility. No one in there can walk out here.

I am standing out here in the sunshine. Where I could run, across this parking lot, if I want to.

And I’m going to get in that car, which is available to me all the time, and I’m going to drive it.

To enjoy Saturday night out with my girlfriends.

And because I have a job and access to cash and credit, I can buy myself dinner, and enjoy the evening doing whatever I want.

As I got lost in total awe and gratitude at my incredibly blessed circumstances, I noticed that, in the middle of the parking lot where I was standing, tears were rolling down my cheeks.

I threw my head back, and felt the sun on my skin. I took a few deep breaths, amazed and awed by my healthy body and mind.

Any vestiges of my pity party from earlier in the week melted away. I felt like the luckiest, most blessed, happiest person alive. I was flooded with compassion for another living being whose suffering was real and yet, she wasn’t complaining, and her vibration actually uplifted me.

I realized that my “problems” weren’t worth losing even a moment of happiness over.

I hope you take a moment to focus on the good, to show more love, to find someone to serve, and to remember what you have to be grateful for.

P.S. Of course you will want to know if I’ve adopted Merry and am helping serve her needs, and I am, don’t worry!

241 thoughts on “The Day Everything Became Crystal Clear

Leave a Comment
  1. Sometime it is difficult to feel gratitude. On my morning drives to work, I look for things to be grateful for but even though I’m”thinking” how grateful I am, I’m not always “feeling” grateful. We can become complacent about actually experiencing the positive feelings, when we get weighed down with the negativity we also experience.
    I’m so sorry to hear about what all that you are going through this week, especially with your cat. But I am so grateful for you sharing your story about your experience with Merry, so we can also experience gratitude with you. Merry’s story is so touching, and your response to her is amazing.

    1. Evy, thanks for your honest sharing and I love your outlook! Thanks for your sweet words about my blog. All is well – moving forward by taking the good and leaving the sad.

  2. A. You outsold Oprah!
    B. Yes, best reward is people actually using and loving your info.
    C. What a great reminder that it’s the little victories and joys that matter the most- a reminder about good vibes.
    D. Screw that NYT list- what is the deal with that list anyway?!

  3. Thank you for sharing Robyn, that was a great story……there is always someone that is worse off than we are, I am grateful for my challenges, don’t want anyone else’s that is for sure.

  4. great job robyn we never know how blessed we are untill we look at someones life and then we can look at ourselfs and see that we got jobs place to rest our heads food we able to walk and so on and so forth ,its thru stuggles ups and downs that we raise above ,im thankfull for what information y give as we dont get from the establisment sorry y had gone thru some trials, i had my share as y did take care things will fall in place y be positive and focus on what y want love.

  5. Thank you for sharing your story and for helping Merry. I am sure Charlemagne is in kitty heaven. And thank you for all you do to raise awareness about the importance and joy of a healthy, high vibe diet.

  6. What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing this; it is a reminder to me to count my blessings even in the midst of adversity. I wish you and Merry a happy thanksgiving!

  7. Speaking of (things happen in three) in 2014 middle of April my mom was sent to the hospital via ambulance for a U.T.I. aka urinery tract infection. Upon arrival later that fateful day me and my late girlfriend went to her room and I knew something wasn’t quite right contacting my sister teary-eyed exclaimed come now. The youngest was first to arrive, we got her to order something to eat and we proceeded to the cafeteria. Small talk omongst ourselves our mom concerned we went back to her room greeting our older sister in the hallway only to be disrupted by a hospital supervisor exclaiming (there’s a cituation right now please wait here) we heard our mom calling out to her youngest (Lori) my older sister on her cell phone frantically telling my older brother (you need to get here now) goosebumps caressing up and down my arms thinking what could possibly be going on in there. Then all of a sudden my sister appears from the curtain covering moms room, flushed and confused puzzled at best. The head nurse worried look (please go to the emergency waiting area we are bringing your mom to the I.C.U. And will update you what is going on) oh the time preciously ticking by the large wall clock like it’s the only thing with the next information for us. My youngest sister thinking the worst me comforting her, remember she came in with a u.t.i. Relax surely they are attending to her not to worry relax this can not be that serious. Could not be farther than the truth, frantically calling family members only to the I.c.u. Leaving my girlfriend behind, we proceeded to find upon entering her room a nightmarish cituation happening right in front of our very eyes never I mean never to amagine what we were seeing. She was on life support from a major artery bursting in her abdomen from blood thinners. More family members still arriving given and seeing what was taking place emotions were running frantically high, crying and tears rolling down like being mazzed, numbness and helpless. The chaplain comes by and was rambling off (don’t make your mother suffer anymore let them remove her from life support) looking at my youngest sister either in a daze are spaced out I finally was the one who had enough courage to realize there is no more hope and do the right thing, I told the chaplain,go ahead. In the coming days we went to our father who was at a assisted living center to inform him of the awful news. Trying to compose ourselves he said ( why are so many of you here) trying to hold the tears back not able to hardly whisper what was trying to come from within me, mom is gone, he lowered his head without any expression or emotion. The second event took place in the later part of May when I succumbed to a heart attack called the widow maker. Stress and anxiety probably was the culprit. The last but not surely the least was later on in December taking home care of my late girlfriend she passed away from cancer, after three years of remission. Fast forward yes I endured reeling from a nightmarish 2014 moving ever so slowly healing and reflection back only to pause for a moment shrouging it all off.

    1. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through but I will definitely be praying for you. I pray God will give you comfort and strength and allow you the opportunity to comfort others in their grief. God bless you.

    2. Wowwwwww, what a story! So glad to hear you’ve come through and every time you tell it, you process a little more emotionally. Here’s to a healthier 2018! Be well!

  8. Thank you for reminding others. I have learned through out my life, someone always has it much worse then yourself. So love and enjoy, it’s a short visit. Bob at Hard Rock.

  9. Compassion.Doing.Believing.Sharing.
    You have affected many without knowing, without benefiting and through sharing your own suffering you have inspired and lifted up Merry, a real person who could have died feeling alone and unworthy – but instead you chose to share your gift of struggles and tears to release her to choose hope and victory and triumph!
    May God Bless You Both Robin & Merry!
    Thank you Jesus!
    Thank You Robin!
    MARI

  10. Oh.. Compassion.. Doing something with Passion! I could actually see your tears as if watching from the window high above. But I didn’t feel your tears You affected a real person without knowing or benefitting from them at first, someone who could have chosen No Hope and could have become Bitter and Cold and Died Alone.. But through immense suffering there would be no such Gift Thank you for sharing..

  11. Thanks Robyn for sharing. I read this just before going to bed. My heart was full of gratitude to you for sharing and helping me to have a full heart because of all I am blessed with. I will have even a more grateful attitude tomorrow and days to come because of this. There is good in everything in our lives even when it doesn’t seem that way. I am grateful for the good and the bad that mold me into the person I am and working on becoming. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  12. Thanks for your story, we forget the blessing we have. Sorry your week was bad but how can we see good if we experience difficulties. Many blessing to you and your family. Happy Thanksgiving Linda

  13. Thanks for sharing your story Robyn… life is full of wonderment… funny how it knows the right time to adjust those heart strings. Thanks be to the Higher Powers! Blessings to you, your family and Merry

  14. Thanks for sharing, that is a beautiful story of gratitude and a reminder that even though our days or weeks may not go as well as we would like, we still have so much to be thankful for . Especially, when we have our health!

  15. Very inspiring story Robyn. Thank you so much for sharing. We try not to give attention to the bad days, by being positive, and moving forward, but sometimes we take a step back and reflect, and breathe, and just know that there is always something positive that comes from a result of anything negative. When you went to see Merry, it was not the outcome you expected, but it was what you needed, when you needed it. Your Guides were guiding you down your path. I am sure when Merry had her first sip of a green smoothie,(which I am sure you delivered to her sooner rather than later,) I am sure she was so delighted she would of gotten out of her wheelchair and done the happy dance if she could of!!

    1. Hi Debbie – I love your comments. I did a podcast on the vibrations of sadness and it’s important to feel and process these emotions and then move forward, taking all the wonderful lessons experienced and learned with me.

  16. Robyn, I am sorry for all your problems and glad to hear that they were not as bad as you thought. That’s an inspiring story and I myself count my blessings every day for all that I have. I hope that you have a Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for adopting Merry. She is one lucky lady to have you in her life.

    1. Thank you Iris – we’re all so blessed and fortunate to live life and all the experiences that come with it. Thank you for your sweet words.

  17. What an inspiring story, and how appropriate the night before Thanksgiving. I too need to be reminded to be more grateful, and thank the Lord for each and every one of His tender mercies. Happy Thanksgiving Robyn!

  18. Thank you so much Robyn! I’m so grateful that you choose to share and inspire. I miss you my friend. Thank you for being brave and following your purpose

  19. Merry is fortunate to have you as a friend. How many Merry’ s are out there? I have such a friend who struggles with chronic fatigue and I have shared your green smoothies with her when I go to visit her. She likes them very much although she doesn’t make them because she does’n have a Blendtec. Thank you for sharing, perspective changes everything and gratitude seems to change our perspective.

  20. Thank you for sharing. I lived in west Africa for 2 years with no running water and no electricity. It is challenging for me to hear friends, today, complain that their electricity was out for 12 hours and they had to take a COLD shower and ORDER PIZZA for dinner as a result– so many do not have those options! Americans are super blessed, even those on a limited income and with physical challenges.
    Thanks for adopting Merry!

    1. YES Lyn – YESSSSSSS to all you shared! Wow, that’s a very long time without modern conveniences! Are you a missionary?

  21. Thanks for sharing, Robyn…What a blessing you are to visit her!

    Have you heard of using Kangen Water to mix with your smoothies yet. We use it and it makes our smoothies even better…more anti-aging. If you haven’t heard of it yet we put together a simple site to explain it. I’m sure it’s going to be the next must have appliance for homes when they realize the many benefits
    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

    1. Yep, I know all about Kangen when I did my extensive water research! I do believe in alkaline water. Thanks for writing Lori and I’m glad you are enjoying good water in your smoothies!

  22. Dear Robyn, your too blessed to ever be distressed, when You have Yeshua in your life and walking with the Holy Spirit, His Love viberations are astounding.
    Just a servant in The Lord Yeshua, Col Dunn wrote 23/11/17 at 11am

  23. Hello Robyn,
    I was so very sorry for the week that you had after reading your story, but your visit with Merry should make us all realize that despite the troubles we have in life (and I have many myself), we are all blessed in some way and we need to remind ourselves of those blessings in our lives, and be appreciative for them!!! Thank you so very much for that important reminder – especially at Thanksgiving!

Leave a Reply