Ep.03: The Law of Attraction Made Practical
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In this episode I describe to you what my high vibration life looks like now. This is also where we explore further the concept of your Vibrational Quotient or ViQ. This is where you can take the ViQ Quiz to measure how high your vibe is and what you can do to raise it! We also explore how this is the REAL Law of Attraction, made practical.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:
- What my high vibration life looks like now and tips that you can implement to start living your high vibration life.
- About the concept of your vibrational quotient and how it compares to IQ and emotional intelligence.
- Deep dive into a more grounded and practical approach to The Law of Attraction and how vibration affects the things you attract into your life and what your role in it is. “You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” – Wayne Dyer
LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Take the ViQ quiz HERE!
Like us on Facebook!
This transcript has been edited for clarity.
Robyn: Hello my friend, and this is Robyn Openshaw; Green Smoothie Girl online and on Facebook, Green Smoothie Girl as Your High Vibration Life. Thanks for showing up, and this is our launch party, introduction part three: The Law of Attraction Made Practical.
Thanks for coming and letting some high vibrations that I want to share with you today into your own energy field. Does that sound like some kooky sauce? I hope not because we’re on our third date now, you and I. It’s not new-agey silliness; it’s quantum physics. I’m not done with you until you’re talking the talk. Let me give you a very immediate example of what we do every day that is changing our own and others’ electrical frequency.
My former boyfriend, Lyle, was texting me on a day that I was working on my notes for these three introductory launch party podcast episodes. He and I were talking about his date the night before. We had broken up two months before and we’ve known each other for eight years and dated off and on for a few years so there’s obviously a lot of history there and a lot of affection and emotion. I ended the intimate relationship because even though he’s a wonderful guy and we loved each other very much we were just at very different places in life. As I’m working, we’re having this conversation via text about how the night before he had told me he was on a date.
As we texted, I asked him, “Where did you meet her?” He starts telling me, “Well, I was out with my friends and I saw her at this place and I just knew I had to meet her.” I texted him back, “You know, this is causing me some pain. Let’s don’t talk about this anymore. Okay? I want you to be happy, and I’m sure you know that, but I don’t want to discuss your dating life.” Fine, we move on. Then he starts asking me, “Are you doing anything with your kids for the holiday?” which was the next day and I said, “No, this daughter is in Greece for a few weeks. This daughter has to work. This kid will probably go with his cousins on his dad’s side.” He texts me back, “Wow, sad.”
I said, “No. It’s okay. It’s just another day in the life of a divorced parent, you know.” He said, “Still though, it’s sad.” I said, “Lyle. You are bringing my vibe down, man. I’m trying to write about high vibration here.” I made a joke that I was going to go get one of his love letters out of my safe and read it to recover my high frequency.
This is a lighthearted example. It’s just a common daily example about how it’s more than just your mood. Little things we do have electrical charges and they can change the energetics of anyone in our space. That said, I also wanted to train you to increase an awareness and then to do some specific things to allow negative energies to flow through you without significantly affecting you, or affecting you for a long period of time.
This is important stuff we’re going to get into on another episode on how to avoid energies getting stuck. Our energy field has become infinitely bigger in the digital age when we are now able to transmit words and thoughts or energies in many ways that were never possible before. Lyle, 30 miles away from me, by pushing his thumbs on some little buttons, really lowered my energetics for a minute, reminding me to be bummed out that I don’t get my kids on holidays sometimes because I’m divorced, and telling me repeatedly how sad it is. That’s more than just moods. As we traditionally think of it, it actually affects me at a cellular level.
At some point we’ll talk about how carefully curating the social media and games and TV shows, music, online conversations that we have that we participate in, is actually really critical to being able to live our optimal ViQ.
If you’ve missed my talk about ViQ before, I’ll refer to it often so here’s what it is: your measurable vibrational quotient is the measurement of how high and how consistent and how strong your own frequencies are. The reason this matters is, it has absolutely everything to do with whether you’re healthy today and whether you are happy today. You know what your IQ is, right? It’s this measurement of your intelligence from a test developed back in the 1950’s I think.
Later, people started to figure out that some people are really successful who don’t have high IQ, and the concept of EQ was developed, I believe by Daniel Goleman. That is, your emotional intelligence quotient. It turns out, people with high emotional intelligence who can, for instance, delay gratification for a more long term goal, and who can assess the effect they are having on others and adjust, who can make decisions from the prefrontal cortex of their brain rather than their limbic system or their reptile brain, are more successful in many cases.
There’s another measurement we need, and that is your vibrational quotient or your ViQ. You know your IQ. You may have a sense of your EQ. Do you know your ViQ?
Now, I’m going to give you a quiz in the show notes so that you can find out where you’re at. I don’t have a Fitbit to sell you to measure what happens to your electromagnetic frequencies when you do yoga, or you drink green juice, or you become aware and gently interrupt the negative thoughts you have about yourself or others, but it doesn’t matter because you can tell when your vibration is high.
You know it because you feel amazing. You’re hopeful, you’re excited about your work. You’re in flow. You lose track of time because you love what you’re doing. You feel energies coursing through you. You enjoy the people that you’re around and you kind of want to sing or dance.
The Law of Attraction
Now, I’m not saying that we avoid all sad feelings or all negative feelings in our effort to find our optimal ViQ. Far from it, actually. We’re not looking to be ecstatically happy all the time; that’s not even realistic. We can have strong energetics while we’re sad. High frequency isn’t the whole story. It’s part of the human experience to go through the whole gamut of feelings, even the sad ones.
There’s also strong, consistent, stable, powerful energetics that we’re attracted to. They appear to us as mature, deep, and wise, in terms of character traits that go with people who have those vibrations. Grounded frequencies that are stable and harmonic even when they are in a lower theta state… now that right there is a beautiful vibe.
When you meditate, all the parts of your brain are working in harmony together. Most of the rest of the time, you’re working in just one fractionated part of your brain, and the chatter in your brain can make you feel crazy. Those are some jangled frequencies, is what those are. Meditating is one of the most incredibly satisfying things you can do to ground your vibrations. In another episode very soon, I’m going to share with you a vibration we will do together, and then you can download it and you can use it anytime you want.
Sometimes we’re so excited because we just got the job of our dreams, [or] after finishing your college degree, [that] we want to jump in the air and kick our heels really, really high, and both are good. Both are healthy. What’s not good is the dissonant, jarring, competing, stuck, confused, or the word I said before, jangled; [they] are very low vibration.
Let’s get right into it. First, we’re going to talk about all that stuff in the movie, “The Secret.” Remember how everyone was watching that like 15 years ago? I watched it and I was like, “What?” I have the thought of abundance as I drive into a parking lot and suddenly, I’ll get the best parking space in the lot. It was a total head-scratcher to me. I was mentally deconstructing it and dismissing it. I was like, “What about randomness and chance?” The drunk driver who crashes into me, that’s not law of attraction, is it? Did I attract that?
What about all the other lovely people who didn’t get that parking space and wanted it? I mean, only one of us can get that space, right? Then thinking about this thing I’d make myself crazy; it made no sense, and then I’d rant to people that the law of attraction is silly and that I really prefer the law of the harvest. You reap what you sow, it’s about effort, blah, blah, blah. I mean, sure, wanting something makes it more likely that you’ll get it because if you believe you’ll achieve it you’re more likely to go into motion and do it. I didn’t understand these principles of quantum physics. Not yet. I didn’t understand that the energies of my cells, of my whole person, is attracting something all the time.
My own frequency is attracting people, opportunities and, remember, even money; or it’s sending them packing. Which is yours doing?
By the way, if you operate at low frequencies, you’re not even aware of all the lost opportunities and relationships that your energetics dictate. You’re likely thinking that they are somebody else’s fault, all of it which keeps you extra stuck. “Everything happens for a reason;” you’ve heard people say that, [right]?
For me, that has a different meaning than it does for most of the people I know who say that. I really used to not like that saying at all. It seemed thoughtless. I always wanted to ask, “What do you mean by that?”
When people say that, they generally seem to mean that God’s in charge, and he’s engineering all this stuff that happens. I don’t really buy that. If I think that God made things go my way today because he loves me, did he also make that man I saw on the street in Thailand blind, and with both legs amputated? Did he make that happen too? Because what, God loves me more?
It seemed to me that if you’re going to say that, and if you’re going to describe something good in your life to a blessing from God, then you have to accept the corollary too, which can be pretty ugly. When someone I once knew ran over his two-year-old granddaughter in the driveway, killing her, an epic tragedy, I don’t believe for a minute that God engineered that because he quote “needed her on the other side.” I know people say that, that’s not my belief. I just can’t wrap my brain around it. I think sometimes things happen because somebody got drunk and got in their car, and because of that you ended up a single parent. Things happen because of random chance, and things happen because of your and other people’s choices.
The Law of Attraction and Vibration
In a sense [though], I do agree [that] everything happens for a reason. In that, all the things that show up in your space, all the events of your life, regardless of why they showed up and regardless of how many of them are awful things, can be leveraged for powerful good, for up-shifting. All that stuff that happens to you can be used, can have a purpose for knowledge and experience, which is what wisdom is made of, which is what love is based on, which is what our character is forged from, which is necessary to be a leader and to be a high vibration human being in general. Use that knowledge and experience to make something beautiful of your life.
See, I don’t want you and me to reduce the important concept of our vibration to simply mood. That’s part of it, of course. I feel good or I feel bad. I feel excited. I feel depressed. Having synchronous, smooth, cohesive vibrations at whatever frequency we’re at in this moment is at least as important as high vibes. “What goes up must come down” is another law of physics, and it is true of frequencies as well.
Do your frequencies spike and crash? Are they steadily fluctuating, and they are in harmony with your bio-rhythms? In harmony with the movement of the earth around the sun, with nature and the seasons? Are you in a flow with your family or your work?
Do things seem to go your way far more often than not? Are your energies going backwards while your plans are trying to go forward? We know our vibrations are scrambled when things we used to love to do don’t give us joy anymore. When someone we actually love is irritating us, that’s when I know I need to clean up my energies. When we can’t get a project off the ground even though we know it’s a good one. We seem to just be going in circles.
We talk about synchronous smooth vibrations, and let’s contrast that to, for instance, all the chaotic fractured dissonant frequencies in our environment. Let’s talk about electromagnetic frequencies, or EMF, pollution, like what’s coming off your cellphone, your devices. Even a pencil sharpener is emitting frequencies. They are actually damaging to your cells, and for sure they interfere with your own smooth frequency.
Feeling the range of emotions, including painful ones like being sad, is not a bad thing as we think on what it means to up-level energetically.
By the way, when Lyle attended my lecture in 2014, he was living in Boston at the time. I challenged my audiences to write down what their high vibration life looks like.
(I’m going to ask you at the end of this podcast to do two things. One is to take the ViQ test to find out your own vibrational quotient. If you want to call in on the line that I gave you in the show notes, call in on the line and tell us who you are and where you’re from and read what your high vibration life looks like. This is setting an intention.)
Just that week prior to this conversation I was having with Lyle, he had sent me a screenshot of what he wrote down as his own projected high vibration life in 2014.
Here it is, I’ll read it. “I sleep well at night. I wake up early and full of energy. I don’t have health problems like others in my family. I have self-control over my body on what I do and what I eat. I go on adventures. I don’t sit at the computer because I have other things to do. I have a good sexual connection with someone I love. I don’t want to eat junk food. Healthy food is all I want. My positive attitude and glowing personality consume any doubt, anger or negativity that comes to me. I exercise every day. I don’t fantasize about things, I make them happen. I organize my life so that I make time for important things. My life is so awesome that I don’t even watch TV or know about current shows. I make friends with everyone because of my magnetic personality. People aspire to be like me. I attract the things I want.”
Lyle’s list is called, “My high vibration life.” I would really love it if you would sit down and write [one of your own] and either keep it, or if you’d love to share with us, do. We might feature it on a Q&A session very soon.
The Law of Attraction for You
That’s a good segue to this; you’ve heard about the law of attraction and now, scientifically speaking, energetically, you know that it’s your vibration that attracts or repels. What do you want to be attracting and repelling? For instance, maybe you find yourself thinking a lot or talking a lot about people who wronged you, maybe events in your past that caused trauma. This is stuff that just replays over and over in your mind. Fear about events in the future that might happen, or you spend a lot of time criticizing others. You’re actually fighting against all the good up-leveling of those around you who have chosen the upward trajectory.
If you think and talk often about these kinds of negatives, you’re going to attract more negatives. When you talk about negatives all the time, all those positive people, the ones who fiercely guard their own vibration, tend to excuse themselves at a certain point. Wayne Dyer said — and I don’t think he’s the first one, I think he was repeating it — he said a lot, “You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.”
I know I have opened a lot of loops in these three introductory podcasts, but I will be closing them one at a time as we explore these different topics. We’re going to explore together how you find your optimal ViQ, because the exciting thing is what it is right now isn’t what it has to be in five minutes, or tomorrow, or all of the next year.
Here’s more homework for you as you get to my next episode, between now and then: be noticing when you feel unhappy or depressed or anxious. When is your vibration low, or chaotic, or scrambled? What time of day? What are the triggers that you noticed, or the causes? What does it feel like? Where do you feel it in your body? Your stomach, your head, your heart? What do you think happened right before you felt that way, that lead to that feeling? Or maybe it was a choice from the night before? A hangover, for instance, is the absolute number one most relatable low vibration state. I want you to start asking yourself, checking in with your electrical system, asking, “What is happening to my vibration right now?”
In another episode later, we’re going to explore the concept of the 90 second emotion and how to metabolize, reframe, and release any negative emotion in 90 seconds or less. The idea is to help you not overvalue any specific emotion so that you can evaluate them quickly, give them no more than their due, and then do the work that that emotion is there to call you to.
I told you in the first two parts of this three-part introduction that I’d share with you what my high vibration life looks like now. So here you go. Ask yourself what your high vibration life will look like. Here’s mine.
I do speaking tours of up to 88 cities a year, and I love it and I don’t come home tired. I have more peaceful relationships, including with my kids. It’s not that it’s all sunshine and daisies, because in fact they are actually now all teenagers and young adults so there’s far more potential for dramas. This period of parenting is emotionally intense, whereas it was physically intense raising four little kids. I let my teenage and adult children’s dramas be theirs, and the choices they make that I don’t like don’t tip me over. I don’t get overwrought when they make a choice I don’t like. I’m increasing the speed with which I let go of negative feelings and events.
I think that letting go is one of the best habits a human being can develop in order to be healthy. At least as powerful as drinking a quart of freshly juiced alkaline greens every day. One of the memes I’m sharing with you in the show notes is this quote, this one is by yours truly:
“Six secrets to a healthy life: eat clean food, drink clean water, take 30 deep breaths, break a sweat, make love, forgive and let go, the end.”
Does that make the ideal of living a high vibration life very essential, very distilled and truly simple and easy? In my life now I indulge in very little anger, which has been both a product of living at higher vibration and a cause of it. Yes, I said indulge in anger, and if that’s a head-scratcher for you, cool. This will be a future topic too on the podcast, how anger serves us as well as how it harms us, and how to live in a clean space energetically with anger, our own anger as well as others. We’ll talk about how anger isn’t good or bad or right or wrong, but what we do with it can be tremendously helpful or it can make us sick.
I now have more problem-solving skills so instead of having panic attacks and anxiety when something goes wrong — 20 years ago I was drugged for that — I see the way clear to solve a business problem, or a relationship problem, calmly and with honesty and with personal accountability. I’m really dedicated to owning my part of it, which is a critical part of living high vibration. Owning my responsibility in a situation quickly and completely with humility is so freeing.
The opposite of [emotional ownership], (think about whether you’ve engaged in any of these), is how to live a low vibration emotional existence. When I allow small things to tip me over, when I don’t speak up even when I feel taken advantage of or I’m watching someone else be taken advantage of. When I don’t even differentiate between a small thing and a big thing so I get upset about small things.
We’ve generally got a very low ViQ when we’re avoidant of accountability, and it’s always someone else’s fault, or if all of our stories are about how we’re a victim of circumstance of other people, or when we “horriblize” outcomes and we’re expecting and expending a lot of energy fearing the worst, and we often spend a lot of energy defending our feelings and defending our actions.
Wow, I sound like an expert in that. Right? Do you know why? Because I am. I indulged in them all. They were an MO, modus operandi; they were the way I lived my life.
Letting go of that stuff and deciding that I’m the captain of my own ship was as freeing and vibration-raising as making the shift to a whole-foods diet was. For the record, I’m far from perfect, but I’m committed to the upward trajectory. I like to say, instead of [just] yes, I say, “yes, and.” In conversations with people I say things like, “What’s the best thing in your life right now? What’s the biggest win in your week?” I listen and then I ask more questions and I’m learning so much more from other people than I used to. By the way, those are great ways to raise the vibration of a conversation, which also has a positive effect on the relationship as well as the other person you’re talking to.
I was out of town last weekend at a conference and I asked one of them, “What’s the best book you’ve ever read?” I asked another friend at that conference, right in front of his wife, “What is the thing you love most about her?” Those are the opposite of small talk, right?
These are ways to start high-vibration conversations. They stimulate the brain, they stimulate emotion, they stimulate conversation about something the other person is excited about. You will love what these does for your relationships with people because now the conversation is clearly pure interest and focused on something they adore. Their partner, a book that changed their life, whatever they’re most excited about. Often when I ask these questions, the person says, “What a great question.” Afterwards they say, “Thank you for asking me that.”
Do you know why they say that? Because what they are really saying is, “Thank you for being interested in me.” The reason I do it isn’t a gimmick. This isn’t Carnegie’s How to Make Friends and Influence People. The reason I do it is that I like high vibration conversations and I really want to know the answer. Those are just great question I get great answers from. When I ask those questions I really am interested in, what’s the spark going on in the person in front of me right now?
What I’ve learned, which is different than when I was living at a lower frequency, is that the process is as fun and uplifting as the achievement itself. Sometimes I get frustrated, things [don’t always] go as fast or as well as I planned for, but I’m not going to live in the gap.
I’m not going to live in the gap between how it turned out and how I thought it would. I’m going to measure from the start. I’m going to look back when we finish and look at where we were in the beginning, and that makes me feel amazing. How fantastic would it be if your work was as fun and exciting and enjoyable for you as your vacations are? That is a high vibration life.
By the way, it’s a darn good thing I figured out high vibration, how to get it, how to get it back when it slips, because in case you think I’m living a Pollyanna life, in case you think I’m surrounded by daisies and poppies and rainbows, let me tell you: virtually all of the setbacks and tough things that can happen to a person have happened to me in the last eight years, even though during that same period of time I’ve also experienced more emotional stability, happiness, creativity, achievement and just pure joy.
Even while a business failed, my 20-year marriage ended, I currently get no help with putting my kids through college and never got one dollar of alimony, I had a big stressful fight with a billion dollar company who worked pretty hard and spent hundreds of hours trying to destroy my business. In that same eight years I’ve gone through the tough teenage years, some really turbulent times with each of my four kids. I have been through the fire. Honestly, let me tell you something, if I hadn’t I sure as heck wouldn’t be here with you. I would have little ability to help you.
My final point in explaining to you what my high vibration life looks like: I compete in sports and I love running five miles a day several times a week. I’m really enjoying my high vibration life, and I wish everyone was.
I hope you’ll take a few minutes to sit with a notebook and write down what your high vibration life looks like one year from now. Visualizing it is the first step in actualizing it. I would love to build a community of energetic up-shifters because the world doesn’t get to have you for long. Write that down, “the world doesn’t get to have me for long.”
Let’s lighten it up and find your optimal ViQ, or vibration quotient, and let’s live there. Before we meet again, let’s find out what your ViQ is. Bring your score to class next time, students (just kidding), but do come with your score to episode four and we’re going to talk about the quiz and where you’re at because I’m going to have you take the quiz again later after we put some great things into play. Okay?
You can find the link to the “How High is Your Vibe?” quiz at the episode three show notes, and also on the Your High Vibration Life Facebook page. Thank you for being here for my three-part launch party, and until next time. Thank you for your awesome support and please do rate and subscribe on iTunes which helps other people hear about us and like us on Facebook at Your High Vibration Life and at Green Smoothie Girl. See you next time.