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Amorphous Blob of Diet Pepsi Jelly-Sausage

By Robyn Openshaw, MSW | Aug 16, 2010

Just got back from the Bay Area–yummy raw food at Café Gratitude in Berkeley (photo below). Taught a really fun class in Oakland (will post photos as soon as someone sends me some–since I forgot my camera), so great to meet y’all who came!

So Laura (my best friend for 30 years) and I were hiking in Lafayette this weekend [photo below] and had this conversation:

Laura: You know, this really makes me mad, I had ONE vice. Is that too much to ask? You know, at 3:30 every afternoon, no matter where I was, I would fill a cup up with ice. Everywhere I work, everybody knows what I’m doing when they see me coming with the SMALL cup of ice: to fill it up with a SMALL amount of Diet Pepsi.

Robyn: Well, you drink wine. So technically isn’t that TWO vices?

Laura: No. Wine is good for you.

Robyn: Oh.

Laura: Anyway, so now, I have my own soda fountains, how lucky is that? But no!

(Laura owns a really cool store store that sells much better stuff than just Diet Pepsi.)

Laura: So my employee Greg was cleaning out the soda fountain machines one day, and he said, ‘Laura, you have got to see this.'” And I go over . . . and there is . . . [a look of horror comes over her face] . . .

. . . this quivering, gelatinous, mucousy sausage of goo. It was heinous, I’m telling you. Trembling, jelly-like, thick, brown . . . OMG! I don’t have words for the horror. It was in the tube coming out of the Diet Pepsi thing! [She is gesticulating wildly with her hands.]

And I have never had a Diet Pepsi since. That was last fall. I will never drink it again.

Robyn: I feel a blog entry forming in my head. But the problem is, a lot of people would read that and it wouldn’t slow them down for a minute. They’d keep drinking Diet Pepsi.

Laura: NO. No one would! No one! OMG! [She shudders.] You don’t understand. Did I say that it was like a giant SAUSAGE of slithery chemicals?

Robyn: I need a photo.

Laura: No! Then no one will come in my store! Everyone will stop buying Diet Pepsi! Anyway, I’m not sure a photo will do it justice. You have to see the quivering to fully appreciate it. It’s a video kind of thing.

Robyn: [stopping her on the hiking path, making a praying sign with my hands] A video then. I would pay money for that. Pretty please, I’m begging! This won’t hurt your business. It should hurt Pepsi, though it probably won’t. Remember 20 years ago when you worked at Bain and one of your clients was a meat packing plant? And you told me to promise you I would never eat a hot dog? Or let any of my future progeny eat one? I’ve kept that promise–no hot dogs!

End of conversation . . .

We’ll see whether I get my way on this one. If I obtain the photo or video. My birthday isn’t till February. Do not think I won’t remember to ask her for a photo of the Diet Pepsi Mucousy Sausage then, if she hasn’t sent me visual evidence yet.

Those of you who attend my classes may know my answer when some dude raises his hand and says, “If I drink a quart of green smoothie daily, it’s okay that I eat all kinds of other crap, right?” (Always, always a man who says that.) And my answer is, “I’m not answering that.”

Ditto my answer for the question, “So I should switch to Diet Coke, right?”

Posted in: Whole Food

17 thoughts on “Amorphous Blob of Diet Pepsi Jelly-Sausage”

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  1. I was drinking a diet pepsi as I was reading this, and I think that I am gonna toss it in the trash. I go through binges where I am heavy on soda and no water, and then no soda and all water. I would loved to have seen a photo of this though. Hammer home the idea of no soda.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Thank-you for the lovely reminder!

    Diane ♥

  3. Anonymous says:

    I think your friend is mistaken about wine being good for you. I don’t know all the facts, but isn’t the alcohol in the wine more detrimental to your health than any other possible health benefit? Wouldn’t it just be better to eat a bunch of grapes?

  4. Anonymous says:

    Robyn you are a friend to the masses who unknowingly drink soda pop in large quantities. I have reprinted, to inform frineds, your ‘reasons to quit drinking soda” (found on page one of your greensmoothie book):

    obesity, bone fractures (robs body of calcium), stomach problems, robs blood cells of oxygen (ie, energy), lowers immune system, and gives caffeine withdrawl symptoms. I want all of us to want a body that works. Please America, CARE to take care!

  5. Anonymous says:

    you know, I dread to think about it, but I know some people who are so addicted to this crap that they would find this jelly appealing! :-O

  6. Anonymous says:

    Let’s add to the visual of the quivering, gelatinous, mucousy brown globs of goo, that the stuff can eat through paint and clean your car battery. Can you imagine what in the blazes it can do to your insides!

  7. Anonymous says:

    I am trying to give up diet coke/pepsi and would love to see the photo or video and a boost to help me quit!! Please beg her for a video or picture…

  8. Anonymous says:

    Drinking all diet sodas is taboo since they contain aspartame. Google aspartame and you will understand why. Peace!

  9. Anonymous says:

    I’m desperate to find some way to make me finally quit the soda habit! She would be doing me a great service to deliver up the photos/videos 🙂 My addiction is such a nightmare. My mom used to put RC cola in my lunches in elementary school! I’ve tried to quit a million times, but can’t seem to make it stick. Are there any links/articles about what is actually IN a soda. I think that might help

  10. Anonymous says:

    My Mom used to drink several TABs a day…

    I was put off from drinking DIET soda by the taste — and then finding out that it has Aspartame ! Now, that’s reason-a-plenty for stopping that vice!

  11. I gave up Diet Pepsi over 6 years ago and never looked back! At the time I had no idea how dangerously potent it was. Everyday I have to educate my patients on the dangers of Diet Sodas. The ingredients in Diet Sodas turn into neurotoxins and degenerate the neurons in your brain. People should always avoid products with sugar substitutes and artificial sweeteners.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Just drink water! If people can quit using harmful drugs, people can quit drinking diet sodas, and sugar filled sodas unless people want to get fat, brittle bones and develop health problems that make them die prematurely. It’s easy, just drink water!!!

  13. Anonymous says:

    to Janet,You may want to pick up a copy of the book “Sugar Blues” by William Dufty. It will help you clarify any questions you have concerning sugar in general,as well as the soda situation. Peace!

  14. Anonymous says:

    I was heavily addicted to diet soda and during that time I had a lot of bladder infections, cysts in my breasts and ovaries, arthritis, tingling in my fingers, legs, and face, back problems, eye problems, and I started have neurological symptoms. The neurologist thought I had MS or Lupus, and after $8,000 in test the neurologist wasn’t able to find anything wrong with me and wanted to run more test. At this point I decided to look for my own answers. My first step was to stop drink diet coke. I had headaches and was moody for approximately three weeks, but started drinking iced green tea in place of the soda and started feeling better. With in two months all my neurological symptoms had disappeared. I haven’t had a soft drink in the past six years and I haven’t had any bladder infections, arthritis, cysts, back problems, or neurological symptoms since.

    I have a friend (she is 33 yrs old) who is also addicted to diet coke and did not stop drinking it, and has had to have a hysterectomy, has severe damage to the lining of her bladder where she constantly feels like she has a bladder infection, even when she doesnt. She went to the mayo clinic because her symptoms were so bad and when they opened her up her intestines had a glue like substance sticking them together and they had to remove it. She was in the hospital a month and almost died when they couldn’t get her colon to wake up after the surgery. She now owes over $300,000.00 in medical bills.

    Soda is just like any other addiction, you have to stop completely and replace it with something else. Iced Yogi Anti-Oxidant Green Tea is one of my favorite drinks. When I use to crave soda I would mix Organic Cranberry Juice concentrate (or another flavor of juice) with sparkling water and make my own healthier version of soda. But not I haven’t craved anything carbonated in almost two years now. Soda has been linked to bladder and pancreatic cancer, it really isn’t worth the health problems. Believe you can accomplish anything and you will 🙂 Good Luck.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I think that I may know what she’s talking about…and if I do then it has the possibility of happening on all fountain drink machines. Its a combination of hard water and the disgusting filth that is in soda! and it builds up into, well, just that, gross slippery brown nasty stuff! it is soooooo disgusting, and I really hope she comes through on getting you footage because I think even if it doesnt change the world, it should help a few of your readers think twice before drinking the filth!

  16. Anonymous says:

    Oh, you went to Cafe Gratitude! Looks like you got my favorite soup, too — the I Am Thankful coconut curry soup!

  17. Anonymous says:

    americans are nuts, addicted to diet coke? grow up, just dont drink it. if u have allowed urself to get to the point where u are physically addicted to a soft drink then i think that u should not be classed as a responsible adult and should have a responsible adult with u at all times like a child or a labrador, or go back and live with ur parents, u cannot be trusted to function in a normal society.

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