Use nutrition to stoke your sex drive! Why young moms aren’t “into it.”

You think I’m going to start talking about chocolate syrup and strawberries in the bedroom as props. I’m not. I have WAY better advice than that.

Moms of young children are very often less interested in sex than their partners. Husbands are frustrated and wonder what happened to the energetic woman they married. (Have a little patience, guys. It very well may be temporary. Kind of a LONG temporary, I know, but still—it’s a season.)

Historically, at least when Masters and Johnson were doing their landmark work on North Americans and sexual practices and attitudes, women hit their “sexual prime” at 40, but these days, researchers see less of that. More and more, some women don’t even HAVE a sexual prime. They’re perennially exhausted, and with reserves running low, sex is the first thing to go.

Another growing phenomenon is low testosterone in men—so men have less interest in sex now, many of them, than they did 50 years ago. (Not all of them, of course. But a surprising number.)

If you’re GreenSmoothieGirl, many people know you’re single, some people know you’re a former sex therapist, and everybody knows you know a lot about nutrition…..my point is, people tell me stuff. Turns out, lots of women, and some men, too, are suffering with sexual dysfunction, or just a lack of interest in it.

Child hugging mother's legI have some thoughts. First of all, if you’re married to a mommy who seems disinterested in taking her clothes off for you at 10 pm, keep in mind how women get their sexual needs met. It’s primarily through touch. Think about how much TOUCH a young mom is getting. Sometimes you literally have multiple small, cuddly, cute people hanging around your neck. By the end of the day, you’ve had more touch than you can take. Or, at least—you’ve had that need met.

This is not, however, how a man gets his sexual needs met. So he’s frustrated. The 30’s, while couples are raising small children, is typically the lowest marital-satisfaction period of time in the span of a marriage. And this phenomenon we’re discussing today is the most often-cited reason.

One thing everyone needs to do, to clear all the negative energies from your endocrine system, male or female, is get away from endocrine-disrupting chemicals. Don’t drink out of plastic containers or microwave stuff in plastic (or heaven forbid, Styrofoam).

Don’t drink tap water–avoid fluoride and chlorine. Get a carbon filter on the whole water system in your home. Get a reverse osmosis filtration system, at a minimum. Best of all is if you have R.O. water, and a water ionizer.

Say No to SoyDon’t eat soy! Most of it in the U.S. is genetically modified, but also, there is soy protein isolate and soy lecithin and a dozen other processed soy fractions in everything boxed, everything canned, everything manufactured by humans these days, including almost all BREAD products. Soy mimics estrogen in the body and disrupts normal hormone function. Don’t use soy milk or any other products—occasionally, organic only, small amounts of miso, edamame, tofu, nama shoyu or Bragg’s, are okay.

Quit using chemical skin-care products. Putting it on your skin is the same as eating it. Your skin is a living, breathing organ, and it takes what you put on it into the bloodstream. Make a shift to the things you put on your skin being only natural. My moisturizer is organic coconut oil. And essential oils, especially lavender, for the sun damage.

Get on my diet. It’s called 12 Steps to Whole Foods. When greens are what you eat most of, then vegetables, fruits, legumes…..guess what, those are the most nutrient-dense classes of foods…..weight loss is nearly invariable. Green smoothies are just a good first step.

Even being 10 pounds over your normal weight can very noticeably affect libido. You think depressed libido is because you don’t feel sexy or uninhibited when you’ve got love handles or thigh flab. That’s only part of it.

(An important part! Feeling sexy and energetic DOES lead to you being your best self—in all ways. On the flip side, having to turn the lights off, avoid certain body parts being visible, or worrying about insecurities, leads to nothing good in the bedroom.)

The other part is how even just an extra 10 lbs. truly depresses circulation and endocrine functions. You really need those functions, for good lovin.’

If the nutritional suggestions I’m about to give you don’t do the trick, consider visiting a bioidentical hormone specialist. A little natural testosterone cream can be a libido lifesaver, but only if blood or urine tests show you’re low in that department. (Women over 40, did you know there’s a female testosterone?) Most women are estrogen-dominant, as well, no thanks to the above-mentioned endocrine disruptors. (The list would be as long as my arm of all the chemicals in our food supply and cosmetics that can play a role in that.) So often a progesterone cream is needed, which balances estrogens in the female body.

Please get these ONLY from a bioidentical practitioner. The drugs, from the other guys? The substances are not identical to what your body makes. They are harmful and may have some symptom-abatement results in the short term, but they are also associated with negative side effects and disease risk. Dr. Bryan Turner, M.D., is a bioidentical practitioner sponsoring my lecture in Provo this Friday  night.

Add these things to your green smoothie. Call the recipe Good Green Love. Or Sexy Smoothie 2.0. Half for you, half for your partner. Here they are:

Maca1. Maca. Easy to get online or at the health food store, prized by the Incas for its effect on sexual performance and libido, as well as all types of energy.

2. Bee pollen. The queen bee uses it for reproductive health. Humans respond well to it, too.

 

Celery3. Celery. Yes, the vegetable I affectionately like to say comes from the cardboard family. Put it in your smoothie where you won’t notice it, since it contains androsterone, a precursor to pheromones that positively affect the sexual behavior of your partner.

Get more foods containing ZINC, which blocks the enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen. Soak raw pumpkin seeds and put them in your oatmeal or granola. Watermelon relaxes blood vessels and increases blood flow and lubrication. You can get a supplement of L-arginine, which is an amino acid which can dilate the right blood vessels to improve arousal.

AsparagusAsparagus is rich in folate, which regulates histamine (released during orgasm). Bananas have several compounds that lead to testosterone production and blood flow, and therefore great sex: potassium, B vitamins, and the enzyme bromelain.

So try those ideas, and get in the bedroom and see what happens.

Enjoy! (Also, have a little moment of grieving silence, will you, for your SINGLE friend GreenSmoothieGirl?)

Regardless of whether this is all academic for me personally at the moment, I want y’all happy in every area of your life, including and especially the part that happens behind closed doors.

XOXO,

Robyn

 

So your sex drive isn’t what it used to be?

A few tips for those suffering from lack of libido (or maybe it’s your partner whose sex drive doesn’t match yours). (You know that I was trained as a sex therapist in my graduate studies? Hope you don’t mind if I mix in a little of that, along with nutrition ideas.)

1.           Maca. Add it to a green smoothie. It’s the “Peruvian ginseng,” a root vegetable prized by the Incans for thousands of years for its ability to improve athletic endurance and sexual stamina.

2.           Bee pollen. Look what it does for the queen bee! It’s a powerful aphrodisiac. Try one grain to make sure you’re not allergic, then two grains the next day. Take a teaspoon a day when you’ve ascertained you don’t have a sensitivity to it. Eat a spoonful or put it in a smoothie. It also has a potentially helpful effect on seasonal allergies, and immune function!

3.           Figure out what your time of day is, and take advantage of that. Some people are simply more interested in sex in the morning, rather than at night. It’s a truism that many folks are either “night people” or “morning people.” Nothing wrong with that–you might have to compromise if your partner is the opposite.

4.           Women, get a full blood-panel workup at a specialized hormone clinic (generally these are run by nurse practitioners) to find out if progesterone or female testosterone is the root of the problem. More and more women are suffering from endocrine disruption and imbalance, probably partly because of things like soy in all our foods, hormones in our animal proteins, etc. A little yam-based progesterone or hormone cream may work wonders. (However, you want this only if it’s warranted by your test results!) Testosterone cream is appropriate only if you are 40 or older. Other remedies your natural-care practitioner may recommend, like DHEA, or flax oil, could be easily located at a health-food store.

5.           Realize that, according to research, even 10 lbs. of extra weight can dramatically affect your sex drive. Not only because you are less confident and feel less sexy–and libido has everything to do with self-confidence or self-esteem, too–but also because of the unbalancing effect on your hormones. Progressing with whole foods to your ideal weight, then, has even more upside potential.

testimonial

Dear GreenSmoothieGirl:

The best anti-depressant you taught me about is bee pollen! I started taking it a year ago and got off all my meds! Thank you!

—Carolyn

Comment from Robyn: I spoke about bee pollen’s impact on sexual health at a few classes recently. One wife got her husband to use bee pollen, and he had a severe allergic reaction. (A friend of mine heard about it third-hand and told me.) As I said in those classes, make sure you try ONE GRAIN of bee pollen, then two the next day if you do okay with it. Build up to a tsp. a day when you’ve ascertained you’re not allergic to it!

food and love: a really personal blog entry, part 1 of 2

I always talk, when I speak in public about my whole-foods lifestyle, about my research. It’s published in full in The Green Smoothies Diet.

One of my biggest surprises was discovering that 54% of people who drink green smoothies regularly, in my study of 175 people, report a more positive, stable mood. Also, 20% experience higher libido.

(The sex-drive statistic, to me at least, relates to both energy and interest in a very intense, personal connection with other people. You might say it’s just making your hormones balanced and healthier, and that’s a good point, too–I believe a high libido is a natural state.)

Less surprising in my study is that 80% experience better digestion. What do all these things have to do with each other? That’s the subject of today’s and tomorrow’s blog entry.

I have been thinking a lot about love lately in philosophical and personal ways. I am reading the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I adore this book. Highly recommend it. Julia Roberts had better do it justice in the movie!

Just like me, the author got a painful divorce, then rebounded into a painful long-term relationship that didn’t work out.

She spent a year in Italy, India, and Indonesia seeking pleasure, then spirituality, then wisdom, and the book is her memoir. It’s the story of “one woman’s search for everything,” the cover says.

I want everything! Don’t you?

I’ve been reading a few pages and then THINKING about what I just absorbed, for days. Consequently, it’s taking forever–which is annoying a couple of my girlfriends who are waiting to borrow my marked-up copy.

The next book I plan to read is Mastery of Love. I want to love in the most pure way possible–never thinking of the person I love as an object. Never “measuring” what I get back in exchange.

I want to love just for the sheer joy of it. Because it’s the best thing we experience in life, love is, the most natural and pure state. I have been observing the way I and other people love and making mental notes, for a while now.

How do you love? (This question is offered for self-reflection purposes–you don’t have to answer it here.) Is it needy, desperate, anxious? Measuring, giving only as much as you’ve historically gotten back? Is it calculated rather than given happily, organically, wholly? (Does needy/anxious love even qualify as love, anyway? It is certainly passed off as such, in daily life.)

So I have been reading and thinking about how I have loved (and been loved) in the past. Who I have loved and why. When I have felt a loss of “self” and just given myself over to God as well as what is divine in me and others.

I’ve been asking this: why I have been more able at times, and less able at other times, to recognize the divine in myself and others and respond appropriately?

Part 2 on this tomorrow.

A green smoothie testimonial I received recently

Green smoothies have just changed my life! I have been drinking at least a quart everyday for 6 weeks now. Sometimes I drink more, but always drink at least a quart. My kids also drink them with me every single day. I have even converted my husband who at first stuck his nose up at them. I have noticed so many good things happen. I have lost 17.5 lbs. I have more energy, therfore, am exercising more.

My moods are so much more even, I get stressed and irritated less. I sleep better and feel more refreshed in the morning. My chronic constipation has gone away. I have suffered with constipation since I was a child. I have less desire to eat foods that are unhealthy. Once your body starts getting the good stuff and then you stick some bad stuff in there with it…it lets you know!!!

My PMS symptoms have all but disappeared. My sex drive has increased. I just feel really good. My whole family has really seen a lot of healthy body responses come from adding green smoothies to our diets everyday. I have converted several people and get asked questions each time I am out with my green smoothie (which is a lot). I proudly and excitedly share our experiences and give them some things to try in their families!

(Submitted without a name–anyone want to take credit for this?)

Let’s talk about food and sex

No, this isn’t that episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza tried to combine the two in a feverish fantasy . . . and if you can’t handle some frank talk about an important part of your life, WARNING: hurry and get out of this blog and come back tomorrow.

Did you know that what you eat has EVERYTHING to do with your sex life? For you women who are having a hard time convincing your husband to get on board with your conversion to whole foods, this essay might be just the ticket.

Food affects your sex drive profoundly. And I can prove it. I now have over 175 respondents in my green smoothie questionnaire now, polling people who’ve undertaken a green smoothie habit for at least 30 days:

So far, 17 percent of my respondents have reported an increased sex drive as a result of drinking green smoothies. And keep in mind that not all respondents are sexually active, and some already had a very high libido so they ignored that question. Therefore, 17 percent is likely a lower number than what you can expect, those of you considering joining us in the Gospel of Green..

Guys, your wife isn’t as into it as you are? There’s no drug better than a quart of green smoothie a day (and kicking Hostess to the curb). Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If you want even more sexual energy, toss some maca or bee pollen in the blender.

In my experience working with people on their nutrition, I have found that being even 10 or 15 lbs. overweight can dramatically affect your sexuality in a negative way. So, green smoothies are an aphrodisiac–and donuts and Doritos are very literally the opposite: a sex-life stomper.

How?

First of all, you don’t like how you look 10 lbs. overweight. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror with your clothes off, you aren’t likely to be sexually willing, confident, playful, adventurous, and energetic. And what is the best way to lose ten pounds? Dieting? No way!

Just start eating the right foods like you learn to do in 12 Steps to Whole Foods. No calorie counting or carb-gram-obsessing necessary. Eat whole plant foods (and stop eating processed foods) and you’ll naturally be satisfied with whatever you eat in the right quantities.

That’s because you don’t have endocrine disruptors, hormone inhibitors, and addictive chemicals in the form of refined sugar, MSG, food dyes, refined salt, and much more destroying your sex drive and your sexual performance.

Second, when your energy is depleted, as it always will be on the Standard American Diet diet, you lose the sexual interest and stamina you once had. Sexual dysfunction happens the same way all degenerative disease does: it is linked to lifestyle choices. Your reproductive system, after all, is affected by the same things your cardiac, circulatory, and endocrine systems are–they are are inextricably linked, as they are all part of one complex organism.

When you eat lots of raw plant food, and go easy on (or eliminate) meat, dairy, and processed stuff, your body has its energy reserves available for all the fun and rewarding things in life.

For an experiment, eat at Tucano’s or Rodizio’s (or a Brazilian restaurant where they bring around meat dishes and offer you some until you can’t eat anymore). How amorous do you feel that night? I’ll answer for you: you don’t want anything except SLEEP. And the sleep you do get is troubled, and you feel sick all night.

Now try eating 100% raw plant food for a day, or longer than that. Watch what happens to your libido. And a great sex life leads to a great relationship, from which all good things flow.

I hope you give this a try. I hope my bravest readers will let us know what your observations are after your experiment on these words. Blog anonymously if that’s what it takes!

HAVE FUN! (And I mean that in the wildest, most passionate way possible.) Have you forgotten what that means? Then start drinking a DOUBLE SHOT of green smoothies!

–Robyn