Use nutrition to stoke your sex drive! Why young moms aren’t “into it.”

You think I’m going to start talking about chocolate syrup and strawberries in the bedroom as props. I’m not. I have WAY better advice than that.

Moms of young children are very often less interested in sex than their partners. Husbands are frustrated and wonder what happened to the energetic woman they married. (Have a little patience, guys. It very well may be temporary. Kind of a LONG temporary, I know, but still—it’s a season.)

Historically, at least when Masters and Johnson were doing their landmark work on North Americans and sexual practices and attitudes, women hit their “sexual prime” at 40, but these days, researchers see less of that. More and more, some women don’t even HAVE a sexual prime. They’re perennially exhausted, and with reserves running low, sex is the first thing to go.

Another growing phenomenon is low testosterone in men—so men have less interest in sex now, many of them, than they did 50 years ago. (Not all of them, of course. But a surprising number.)

If you’re GreenSmoothieGirl, many people know you’re single, some people know you’re a former sex therapist, and everybody knows you know a lot about nutrition…..my point is, people tell me stuff. Turns out, lots of women, and some men, too, are suffering with sexual dysfunction, or just a lack of interest in it.

Child hugging mother's legI have some thoughts. First of all, if you’re married to a mommy who seems disinterested in taking her clothes off for you at 10 pm, keep in mind how women get their sexual needs met. It’s primarily through touch. Think about how much TOUCH a young mom is getting. Sometimes you literally have multiple small, cuddly, cute people hanging around your neck. By the end of the day, you’ve had more touch than you can take. Or, at least—you’ve had that need met.

This is not, however, how a man gets his sexual needs met. So he’s frustrated. The 30’s, while couples are raising small children, is typically the lowest marital-satisfaction period of time in the span of a marriage. And this phenomenon we’re discussing today is the most often-cited reason.

One thing everyone needs to do, to clear all the negative energies from your endocrine system, male or female, is get away from endocrine-disrupting chemicals. Don’t drink out of plastic containers or microwave stuff in plastic (or heaven forbid, Styrofoam).

Don’t drink tap water–avoid fluoride and chlorine. Get a carbon filter on the whole water system in your home. Get a reverse osmosis filtration system, at a minimum. Best of all is if you have R.O. water, and a water ionizer.

Say No to SoyDon’t eat soy! Most of it in the U.S. is genetically modified, but also, there is soy protein isolate and soy lecithin and a dozen other processed soy fractions in everything boxed, everything canned, everything manufactured by humans these days, including almost all BREAD products. Soy mimics estrogen in the body and disrupts normal hormone function. Don’t use soy milk or any other products—occasionally, organic only, small amounts of miso, edamame, tofu, nama shoyu or Bragg’s, are okay.

Quit using chemical skin-care products. Putting it on your skin is the same as eating it. Your skin is a living, breathing organ, and it takes what you put on it into the bloodstream. Make a shift to the things you put on your skin being only natural. My moisturizer is organic coconut oil. And essential oils, especially lavender, for the sun damage.

Get on my diet. It’s called 12 Steps to Whole Foods. When greens are what you eat most of, then vegetables, fruits, legumes…..guess what, those are the most nutrient-dense classes of foods…..weight loss is nearly invariable. Green smoothies are just a good first step.

Even being 10 pounds over your normal weight can very noticeably affect libido. You think depressed libido is because you don’t feel sexy or uninhibited when you’ve got love handles or thigh flab. That’s only part of it.

(An important part! Feeling sexy and energetic DOES lead to you being your best self—in all ways. On the flip side, having to turn the lights off, avoid certain body parts being visible, or worrying about insecurities, leads to nothing good in the bedroom.)

The other part is how even just an extra 10 lbs. truly depresses circulation and endocrine functions. You really need those functions, for good lovin.’

If the nutritional suggestions I’m about to give you don’t do the trick, consider visiting a bioidentical hormone specialist. A little natural testosterone cream can be a libido lifesaver, but only if blood or urine tests show you’re low in that department. (Women over 40, did you know there’s a female testosterone?) Most women are estrogen-dominant, as well, no thanks to the above-mentioned endocrine disruptors. (The list would be as long as my arm of all the chemicals in our food supply and cosmetics that can play a role in that.) So often a progesterone cream is needed, which balances estrogens in the female body.

Please get these ONLY from a bioidentical practitioner. The drugs, from the other guys? The substances are not identical to what your body makes. They are harmful and may have some symptom-abatement results in the short term, but they are also associated with negative side effects and disease risk. Dr. Bryan Turner, M.D., is a bioidentical practitioner sponsoring my lecture in Provo this Friday  night.

Add these things to your green smoothie. Call the recipe Good Green Love. Or Sexy Smoothie 2.0. Half for you, half for your partner. Here they are:

Maca1. Maca. Easy to get online or at the health food store, prized by the Incas for its effect on sexual performance and libido, as well as all types of energy.

2. Bee pollen. The queen bee uses it for reproductive health. Humans respond well to it, too.

 

Celery3. Celery. Yes, the vegetable I affectionately like to say comes from the cardboard family. Put it in your smoothie where you won’t notice it, since it contains androsterone, a precursor to pheromones that positively affect the sexual behavior of your partner.

Get more foods containing ZINC, which blocks the enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen. Soak raw pumpkin seeds and put them in your oatmeal or granola. Watermelon relaxes blood vessels and increases blood flow and lubrication. You can get a supplement of L-arginine, which is an amino acid which can dilate the right blood vessels to improve arousal.

AsparagusAsparagus is rich in folate, which regulates histamine (released during orgasm). Bananas have several compounds that lead to testosterone production and blood flow, and therefore great sex: potassium, B vitamins, and the enzyme bromelain.

So try those ideas, and get in the bedroom and see what happens.

Enjoy! (Also, have a little moment of grieving silence, will you, for your SINGLE friend GreenSmoothieGirl?)

Regardless of whether this is all academic for me personally at the moment, I want y’all happy in every area of your life, including and especially the part that happens behind closed doors.

XOXO,

Robyn

 

Birthday season is over, but the CAKE was divine

Aug. 22 ended birthday season around here, when Emma turned 17.

ABC’s Wife Swap, filmed in 2007, when you agree to do the show, waltzes in and figures out what they can string you up for. (I knew they would. I considered it a game.) For me, it was the green smoothies, and the fact that I tell my kids, “The bus leaves at 7:22,” and then I leave them to walk to school, if they’re not ready.

None of that bothered me. What I didn’t see coming was that they would make a federal case about the two times I rented out a skating rink, or the municipal pool, for back-to-back parties for my kids. Each had their own party, their own cake, their own friends and presents. It wasn’t cheap to rent out the pool, and my kids decided that was what they wanted.

We did it just twice, the last time 6 years ago. The kids had a ball at their party.

Wife Swap made out that I am “obsessed with efficiency” and “won’t let them have their own party.” They purposefully failed to mention that all four of my kids are born within 3 weeks of each other. They made it seem as if my four children born at different times of the year are forced against their will to have a joint party because I don’t care about them.

I recently brought Patty out from Creative Health Institute. She works for us fulltime now, and we love her!  She became a long-term volunteer there for 18 months. I will tell you Patty’s story later, on a video, with her making Choca-Maca-Laca that I learned at CHI last year from Madeline Wilson.

The recipe is named that for the superfood ingredients Maca and Lacuma. But I LOVE this yummy recipe, and Patty lost tons of weight eating the Ann Wigmore diet plus two whole quarts, daily, of Choca-Maca-Laca! Wow. I guess “a calorie is not a calorie is not a calorie,” because that’s a lot of calories. Remember Colin Campbell discovered in the Oxford-Cornell China Project that those eating a plant-based diet stay lean eating 200 calories a day MORE than animal-flesh eaters, who were not lean, ate!)

I also posted Patty’s raw peach cobbler on the blog a year ago.

Patty is a Level III raw chef, and she made this delicious cheesecake, with the ingredients in my kitchen, for Emma’s 17th birthday on the 22nd. All the kids loved it. She blends tangerines and peaches from my tree, into Rejuvelac, and tells the kids it’s Powerade. Even though she’s not a mother, she has the instincts: she tells them it gives them energy for school and sports. (It’s true, of Rejuvelac.) She puts a half gallon of it in the fridge, like at CHI, with a masking-tape label saying “Don’t drink this after 6 pm!” That’s because it’ll keep you awake.

The photo is of Patty with Cade (19), Emma (17), Libby (15) and Tennyson (12).

Sunday I’ll post the recipe!

update on the Sugar Bet

Do you ever stop and think about the ways karma just flows and flows?

When I was over six months into my year-long Sugar Bet, last February, I confessed that I’d screwed up, when I was in Hawaii.

I came clean immediately when I got home. Not just here on the blog, but I went to Matthew, handed him $1,000 cash, and asked him to let me finish the year. He, on the other hand, was legitimately released from his obligation.

He thought about my request for a WEEK, while I agonized. Then he accepted. He tried to give me the $1,000 back and I said no.

He said he was changing the rules. I got to have three weekend vacations where I could have sugar, for the rest of the year, while I finished it out through Sept. 18. (That’s the full year, plus a week as penalty.)

I did take advantage of that recently—on our trip to Portland, I ate sugar and Kristin was amazed. She said to her brother, “I don’t know who she is! She is usually in constant motion!” She was referring to how I’d lost my energy. I’d fall asleep in the car. I’d say I didn’t want to go out till late.

Sugar does that. It wrecks me. I hadn’t eaten it in a long time, and now I remember why it’s the devil. It trashes my adrenal glands and makes me a lesser version of myself.

I said, “On the rare occasion I eat like other people do, even for a few days, I feel like other people feel. Like, bleh. I don’t like it! I can’t wait to go back home, to juicing and green smoothies and salads and NO SUGAR.”

Anyway, I’m finishing out my year on the Sugar Bet—just one more month. (Actually, I’ve already found another friend to bet $10,000 for another year, more on that later.)

But some people on the blog and facebook took me to task. They said I took advantage of my relationship with Matthew, and that I should have paid him $10,000.

Well here’s the funny thing. Early in the year, I told him to look for a rental property for me. I told him what I wanted and that I was willing to wait.

Shortly before the Sugar Bet ended, Matthew’s realtor partner Drew took me to see a property, and I bought it.

Guess what the realtor’s commission is that I’m paying Matthew?

It’s $10,000.

That feels good, doesn’t it? I have learned to trust karma. I will have a big smile on my face writing that check to Armstrong Flinders and Associates at the closing.

I think we reap what we sow.  I have this card on my corkboard in my office that says, “ MAKE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL OF YOUR LIFE.” It’s a statement of my belief that this is within my grasp—the ability to take hold of my existence on the planet and make meaning of it.

Ecclesiastes 11:1 says something like, cast your bread upon the waters and after many days it will come back to you.

What’s coming back to you? Good stuff?

As Abraham Lincoln said, folks are about as happy as they have a mind to be. We don’t get everything, but we tend to get out of life what we want most.

We look like what we eat, and what we spend our time doing. If someone bikes 100 miles a week and drinks carrot juice and eats a salad every day for lunch, you can tell. If we drink beer from Thursday to Sunday and eat T-bones and fries and chocolate cake, we look like it.

We have positive relationships if we’re generous, kind, and forgiving. If we laugh a lot, other people laugh when they’re in the room with us.

Examples of karma.

Occasionally bad things happen to good people. The bad guys get away with stuff sometimes. But I believe it evens out in the end. It’s a beautiful phenomenon. The universe’s need for homeostasis creates it.

dramatic testimonial from “the happiest grama on the planet”

We get a lot of wonderful testimonials, both in person when I teach, and via email on the site. Few are as dramatic as this one we got from Mary Kay:

Since hearing about your website six months ago, I have been drinking a quart of green smoothies every day. People I meet now ask me, “How do you look so good, how do you stay so skinny, how do you have so much energy?” I tell them about your website and they either walk or run to get a blender and start the practice for themselves.

I have had a profound personal healing experience. I was STUCK in an abusive marriage and lost my will to live. Luckily, I had a compelling reason to get out and now I live on my own. I was emaciated (5’9? and weighed 120 lbs), had daily anxiety, my skin was wrinkly and I had no color in my cheeks. My eyes were dull and bloodshot. My hair was mousy and lifeless. I had no energy and no muscle tone. I was achy and stiff and VERY constipated.

Six months later, my skin is glowing, my hair is shiny and my nails grow super fast. I am emotionally stable again, and I dance and sing and laugh. I have a challenging job and ride my bike to work. I am at my ideal weight again (130), which is what I weighed in high school. My digestion is vastly improved and I guess I just glow. I was recently at a family reunion and my aunts and uncles and cousins raved about how good I look.

I attended your class recently in Sandy and found it very inspiring and fun.

I have a hard time making only a quart of smoothie. I usually end up with the whole blender jar full, so I jump on my bike and take it to share with my daughter and my grandbaby. A Vitamix blender jar fits perfectly in my backpack!

–The happiest Grandma on the planet thanks to you!

Bruce says, “GreenSmoothieGirl Isn’t Just for Girls!”

I have a testimonial from a guy for you, in a minute. But first….

I play on at least two tennis teams, all four seasons a year. Last Tuesday morning, I did yoga for an hour, then did my 20-mile bike ride in the canyon in 100-degree heat. That night, I had our last tennis match of this season, and for some reason my captain put me in as first singles.

That’s where you generally put your best player, since you usually face the opponent’s best player.

I mostly play doubles—hadn’t played singles ONCE since advancing rank in December. Most of my new teammates have played at this rank for years, and they take or even teach private tennis lessons. Most were high-school tennis players. One of them plays on five teams at a time, and many of them play tennis 20-30 hours per week.

I wish I had time for that, but I don’t. My entire team, besides me, is married and not employed outside the home. I started playing tennis less than 4 years ago, not in high school.

For my night matches, my ritual is to drink a quart of green smoothie on the way there. That’s all. And I’ll find myself in a third set—or a second-set tiebreaker at 10:30 p.m.—like I did last Tues., thinking, “I’m not tired at all!” while I see my opponent falling apart.

I truly haven’t been tired once, and I’ve had 8 wins in a row. I won that singles match last Tuesday, 6-4, 7-6, in high winds. Even though I am, to be honest, too new at this rank to be qualified to play the top seed.

My green-smoothie ritual is becoming an important part of pulling that off. My teammates sometimes complain between sets that they’re tired. I never am. Despite hard workouts earlier in the day.

So Tuesday, I got home at midnight because my match was an hour away. Before I went to bed, I read this email from Bruce in Michigan, forwarded by our customer support team because they know I love to read this stuff:

“I noticed that you don’t have very many testimonials from men…so I thought I would tell you about how the green smoothie lifestyle is changing my life.

I am 48, and over a year ago I weighed 206 pounds.  I decided that I needed to lose about 40 to 45 pounds since I am 5’10” tall and a thin frame.

I bought P90x and started the most difficult exercise program and followed Tony’s diet..  P90x is not for the faint of heart. I worked hard for 7 months, lost 23 pounds. My blood sugar was all over the place, and I felt tired and hungry all of the time. I stopped after 7 months and did absolutely nothing for the next 6 months and went back to eating poorly since I could not do that diet. I gained back 13 pounds….discouraged, I searched for a better way.

I found www.greensmoothiegirl.com and heard Robyn say, if you do what I tell you to do you will lose weight faster than ever, never be hungry and you can even work out while just drinking green smoothies. I bought the complete program and I must say she was right!

On May 15th I started to drink 2 quarts of green smoothies each day and started working out again doing P90x.  I am 10 pounds away from my goal weight in just 60 days! I have lost weight faster, feel better and look better than I have in 15 years.

Ok, men… here is the deal….drinking green smoothies, doing p90x is crazy….but it works!  I have had zero blood sugar dips, no hunger between smoothies and feel great!

I have done more in 60 days than I did in 7 months on the p90x diet….I just can’t believe it!  So Robyn, I am proud to tell other men….I visit www.greensmoothiegirl.com and have had several of my friends already buy turbo blenders and start drinking smoothies. You rock, girl!”

Bruce in Michigan

Thyroid—you might have a problem and not know it

All estimates I’ve read are that 25 to 50 percent or more of American women have significant thyroid issues. Possibly over half of women over 40. Most of these women are undiagnosed. If you have low thyroid, which is the most common thyroid problem, symptoms may be low energy, slow metabolism / weight gain, dry skin, bags under your eyes, fatigue, hair loss, depression, poor circulation, low immune function, and insomnia.

My best friend since childhood, on the other hand, has the “auto-immune” condition of hyperthyroidism, which is just as miserable. Her thyroid is always revved and overproducing. She goes the drug route. The symptoms are a racing heartbeat, weight loss, increase or decrease in appetite, insomnia, fatigue, diarrhea, mental disturbance, infertility, thinning hair, itching and hives, heat intolerance, and tremors / shakiness.

All the endocrine disruptors in the environment and food supply affect thyroid function. Don’t eat soy! Don’t expose yourself to pesticides, or plastics, or heavy metals. Avoid drugs, alcohol, and unchecked stress.

Doctors will likely put you on synthetic hormone. Remember that the drug thyroid is not bioidentical to the thyroid produced in your body. It’s been molecularly altered, each drug different from each other, to earn a patent.

If you find a clinic that specializes in bioidentical hormone, the cost is far less, and your body can assimilate and utilize the hormone effectively, like the hormone your own thyroid produces.

I spent four years on a synthetic thyroid drug, many years ago, before I knew any better. It helped me drop the 40 lbs. I’d gained in a year since I became hypothyroid. But it increased my risk for cancer. I happily transitioned to bioidentical and have been on it ever since. Recently I went completely off thyroid to test whether perhaps my good diet compensated, and maybe I could produce hormone effectively by myself.

The good news is, my baseline was much better than it was 10 years ago when I first was tested. The bad news is, I got ugly bags under my eyes. I made some videos last summer in Denver when I was completely off thyroid, and I can’t even look at them. Ugly. My body makes about 60% of the thyroid I need. I take a few drops of nascent iodine each day, now, and my bioidentical thyroid keeps me happy and balanced.

You can read whole books on the thyroid phenomenon by Mary Shomon, a bestselling author. Too many women are hypothyroid and going without treatment. Remember to google “bioidentical hormone” rather than starting with the standard M.D.’s practice of automatic drug-oriented HRT (hormone replacement therapy).

And remember, having an M.D. check you for T3 will not give you the whole answer. When I gained 40 lbs. because I was very hypothyroid in my mid-30’s, I was tested for that and the doc told me it was “normal.” I knew I was NOT feeling normal, but what was I to do?

You must get the full blood panel and have a highly specialized bioidentical practitioner look at the interplay of T3, T4, progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, and a variety of co-factors. When I did that, my life changed dramatically because they could treat my whole body, rather than just drug one element, throwing other critical elements into imbalance.

If you’re feeling healthy but want to make sure you’re getting enough iodine, using refined salt with chemical, synthetic iodine enrichment, is harmful. If you want ways to get more natural, bioavailable iodine in your diet, to enhance your body’s ability to make and utilize thyroid hormone?

Talk to your holistic practitioner about whether you should take nascent iodine (available online, google it) or Lugol’s solution (prescription). My practitioner had me paint a 1”x1” patch of my inner forearm with drugstore iodine, and if it disappeared in an hour, she said that was a sign my body needs iodine. (However, I believe others dispute this test as valid.)

Food-based sources are kelp (which you can take in tablets, or it’s a wonderful salt replacement seasoning), or dulse, or nori sheets (seaweed). Those are high-iodine sea vegetables. If you take too much, you would notice being jittery, anxious, shaky, so if so, you could back off those foods. But generally, you’d have to eat an awful lot of sea vegetables to create an imbalance.