GreenSmoothieGirl Goes Down in Flames in Smackdown! Part 2 of 3

Robyn Openshaw - May 02, 2011 - This Post May Contain Affiliate Links

I should count my blessings that Team Jillene didn’t make a federal case out of the habanero. When I was a kid, I once dared my dad to eat the biggest jalapeno in our garden in one bite. He did, and the hardest-working, toughest man I’ve ever known got so sick he went to bed for the rest of the Saturday. I’d come in every little while, begging his forgiveness–I cried a lot that day because I felt so bad. He’d just roll over and turn his back to me.

To her credit, afterwards, she came into the bathroom where I hung over the toilet, holding my hair back with one hand and dry-heaving. She said, meekly, “This is punishment enough. You don’t have to run Suncrest.”

(Her punishment for me was to run 5 miles up to the highest point between Utah and Salt Lake valleys, and then back down.)

I only WISH!

Well, now you know how to make the naughtiest, nastiest, gnarliest green smoothie EVER.

Nothing could be more awful. I drank ¾ of it, opening up my throat and just throwing it back, stopping only twice, before Jillene beat me. In about 90 seconds. JUST LOOK AT THIS CRAZY PERSON! She had green stuff all over her face like one-year olds do who face-plant in their birthday cake!

(And I was so nice, all I did is apples, parsley, and dandelion greens. All the Hot Dental Chicks came up and tasted both smoothies after with their finger. They came in the bathroom to offer condolences because the one I drank was just WRETCHED in comparison.)

I never did throw up, though I desperately wanted to. (Sometimes an iron stomach is a curse.) I kept reminding myself that raw vegetables and fruits take 45 minutes to digest, at most. Sure enough, the burning and nausea ended an hour later.

Well, congrats, Jillene! You are certifiably insane. But you are a competitor. YOU WIN!

Well, whatever it takes to get the message out! I guess I have to suffer for my art? (Plus it will make good TV.)

Tomorrow, cool stuff from Michelle Jorgenson’s lecture in the class we co-taught at The Good Earth Orem before the Smackdown.

I’ve officially been SMACKED.