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coming out of the closet

Haha, that got your attention, didn’t it? So I was facebook “friended” by an old high school friend yesterday, Chuck. (He thinks we dated but I don’t remember that. We grew up in Northern Virginia but now, funny enough, live a few blocks from each other in Utah.)

Anyway, he said this highly threatening thing to me, and I thought I’d better pre-empt public exposure by getting ahead of it and “outing” myself–here’s what he wrote:

“I HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU IN A MCDONALD’S UNIFORM.”

Yes, it’s true. That was my first job. I was 16 years old and I schlepped greasy fries and instantly/chemically-frozen “ice cream” and shakes to the unsuspecting American public. Also burgers that I counted 20+ ingredients listed on the boxes of frozen patties.   Chuck worked there with me.

We used to go into the freezer and throw the patties against the wall as hard as we could. Never did break one. (Yes, I was an OUTSTANDING employee. Perhaps this is why I now find it almost imperative to work for myself.)

I’m super excited for Chuck to scan that photo and send it to me or post it on Facebook or whatever. NOT.

Isn’t it funny how life does a 180 sometimes? I told Chuck of the public damage that photo could do based on my current life choices and professional direction and books authored . . . I am not entirely certain, but that may have just goaded him into coming up with all kinds of ways to torment me with the alleged photo.

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