This cracked me up, from Associated Press writer Wilson Ring. When suspected killer Chris Williams misbehaved in his Vermont prison, he was fed “Nutraloaf” as punishment. Nothing with “loaf” in the recipe sounds too tasty, does it?
It’s full of raw carrots, whole-wheat bread, spinach, raisins, beans (and a few other ingredients–I’m listing the ones I approve of). Inmates say they’d rather go hungry than eat it. I say, oh well!
Prison officials say it’s a “behavior modification” tool to stop individuals from throwing trays, feces, urine, and silverware. Inmates are being heard by the Vermont Supreme Court about this cruel and unusual punishment: they say it’s not “food.” You think if they were being served chicken nuggets, pork rinds, and beer, there’d be any lawsuit?
Corrections Commissioner Rob Hofmann says, “It tends to have the desired outcome. Once the offender relents, we stop with the Nutraloaf. That’s our goal, to protect our staff and not have them subjected to behavior the average Vermonter would find incomprehensible.” But Hofmann has tasted Nutraloaf and admits, “It reminded me of eating my vegetables and I’m not necessarily a big fan of vegetables.”
No “Nutraloaf” in 12 Steps recipes. No “loaf” of any kind. Or . . . IS THERE?? (Cue the ominous-sounding music.)