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Who you gonna call, Part IV: network-marketed juices, pills, candy, and skin creams . . .

The juices . . . Xango, Noni, Pharmanex, and some brand-new ones . . .  

I’ll get some furious emails for this one, because the juice folks are plentiful and have absolute religious fervor about their $30 bottles of juice from the tippy tops of mountains half a world away.   There’s a new startup co. with a new juice, apparently, because a friend called me wondering if I wanted a “spot at the top” of the new, butt-kickin’ binary comp plan.

I told him I couldn’t do it, philosophically, and explained what I say in the next few paragraphs.   Said I believe that health isn’t in a fancy bottle of pasteurized juice, no matter how “proprietary” this new one is.   I believe it’s in good ol’ oranges, and spinach, and celery, every day.   BOOO – RING!   Nobody’s gonna make a million bucks on that.

And he said (I knew he would, because juice people ALWAYS say this when they call me): “Yeah, but that’s in a perfect world.   You and I both know that nobody’s REALLY going out and eating that stuff.”  As politely as possible, I begged to differ.   I said, that’s what 12 Steppers are doing right now!   They’re eating the simplest, cheapest, purest foods on God’s green earth (pun intended).   Most of those foods cost $0.79/lb., not $30 for a 24-ounce bottle.   And they’re feeding these disease-preventing, delicious foods to their kids!

Did God intend for us to make ourselves healthy with pasteurized, sometimes sweetened, concentrates of berries, with high-tech extraction processes, that only the richest people in the world can afford?   Remember, even a glass of orange juice has the sugar of 8 oranges–and little or no fiber!   I think maybe God put the foods we need right here in this world, readily accessible by anyone with even a working-class salary.

Furthermore, do the juice folks have a corner on health?   By drinking an ounce or two–$2 worth–of stuff from a really gorgeous bottle designed to help me feel transported to Tahiti, are cancer and heart disease disappearing?   Do the juice folks look healthier than everybody else?   Can their companies legally make ANY health claims?

They aren’t, don’t, and can’t, and that’s because it doesn’t matter how much pricey juice you drink, if you aren’t eating 60-80 percent raw plant food and avoiding the really bad stuff (sugar, corn syrup, chemical additives, processed meat, dairy).   The healthiest populations on Earth aren’t drinking pasteurized juice made from  obscure berries 10,000 feet up in the Himalayas or whatever.   They’re eating the whole berry.  Don’t be fooled by exotic berry juices.   You’ve got all the berries you need, at Costco.   A LOT cheaper.   If you want exotic, check out goji berries (the whole, actual fruit itself, dehydrated) online or in health food stores.   I’m planting some this year and writing about it for Step 5 (gardening).  

In the interest of equal opportunity, I’ll move onto other network-marketed false gods we worship next . . .

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